Tag: joy

Posted in Self Help

Urgent Answers

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

With so much uncertainty in the world do you ever just find yourself searching urgently for the answers?

Who?

Why?

What if?

When?

I find it especially difficult these days to not let my mind veer off course, end up in a frantic tailspin, swirling out of control. It’s difficult not to prowl around searching for urgent answers to impossible questions. Questions I realize only a higher power could possibily answer, but yet, ones I am convinced I have a right to know.

Then on the flip side, there are the urgent, dreadful answers, once revealed, my heart cannot completely recover from no matter what I do.

It’s hard to be unseen or unheard.

It’s even harder to decipher what answers we really want. Or, the ones we really need.

Inquisitive mind?

Truth seeker?

Or, maybe a self-destructive soul who seeks out the truth to questions sometimes better off left unanswered. One with no compassion for the human heart.

Until it’s too late.

Shattered in a million pieces with answers I so urgently searched for in spite of knowing some things are better off left undisclosed.

Why did I imagine my fears were fooling me?

The story of a life. An inquiring mind that wishes a moment too late, I wouldn’t have asked the question, wouldn’t have read the test results, wouldn’t have put two and two together, wouldn’t have said no sugar coating.

That dire truth I feel in my gut, unknowingly eluding me with an imagination of silence and uncertainty. In my head, fear of the uncharted and darkness is much worse than the urgent answer I seek. That is until it’s delivered.

That’s me in a broken, cracked, and irreparable nutshell.

And, like anything broken…it hurts like heck.

Wanting to see into the future, wanting to be a realist, wanting to know the unknowns.

Patience is strength. And, I am learning this life requires both.

Sometimes, it is better to just live in the moment and relish it. What we don’t know can’t hurt us. Our paths are already planned.

In the end, the answers don’t change the path. Accept it and have faith love conquers all.

Five healthy habits to live in the moment:

distract yourself

If you find yourself with too much time on your hands, searching for answers, thinking too much or just worrying and wondering too often, find a hobby, consider a part time job or volunteer your time to a needy cause. Staying busy and creating distractions can be the best medicine when we are stressed and anxiety ridden. Find something to occupy your mind and fill the time. Don’t let your thoughts drive your mind down the wrong road.

write down your thoughts

Some days I find myself just wanting to be alone, not having to talk to anyone. On these days particularly, I know I do some of my best writing. It gives me a chance to write down what’s on my mind and work through it on my own. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do, how to think or feel, or giving me advice. I just have myself to listen to and work through my thoughts. Most often it’s the best feeling in the world because I got through the moment by myself. It gives me a sense of self satisfaction and control. At a time when we may feel we have no control over anything, I consider this a win.

enjoy one day at a time

This is a hard one for me. It’s easy to think we can simply just think about today, but when our thoughts escalate it can be a domino effect. One thought leads to another and before we know it, we are trying to analyze every possible move or scenario to predict the future.

When the mind starts reeling, take a step back, focus on the present and force yourself to stop the thought process. Bring your thoughts back to the present, take a few deep breaths and allow your thoughts to concentrate on the current moment.

find someone to talk to

Phone a friend, find a counselor, join a support group or just find anyone who will listen or can relate. The pandemic has socially challenged all of us, but having coffee with a friend, talking on the phone, facetiming or seeking therapy is a way to talk through any struggles and calm your anxiety regarding the uncertainty of tomorrow, no matter what that looks like for you.

refocus your mind

At night, when I’m ready to fall asleep, I try to listen to a meditation that redirects my thoughts to relaxation and unwinding. It helps focus my mind on my breathing, relaxing my body and training my brain to just let my thoughts wander in and out. It’s amazing how much more relaxed and less tense I become in just 10 minutes of this self reflection.

For many of us, I think we can agree nighttime is the worst for our minds to spiral out of control with thoughts of worry and what ifs. For me personally, I have realized if I can settle my mind before I try to fall asleep, I have a better chance of getting a good night’s sleep.

Above all else, cut yourself some slack, take a break, pray and give it to God. There is contentment to be found somewhere in our future.

Don’t seek urgent answers. Seek PEACE. Seek JOY!

Posted in Family

Head of the Household

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits
Blaze Jenna Blake Roscoe aka TORNADO

We all need some Joy in our lives at the moment, right?

Well, several weeks ago we got a new head of the household.

For I don’t know how many months, years my youngest son has wanted a dog. It’s not like we haven’t had dogs his entire life. I guess they haven’t been the kind of dog he has wanted. Although, he has always been an animal lover.

When we have had to be away at the hospital he is the child who takes the dog to sleep with him and keeps him company, since his four-legged sister passed last year. I can always count on him to give the dog a little attention.

Hubby and I swore that after our two elderly dogs were gone that would be the end of our pet parenthood. With his illness and our travels, we just cannot handle “one more thing.”

Well, so we thought.

When it was certain my oldest son was going away to college, and my youngest son was still begging for a puppy, I sat hubby down for a serious talk.

Come fall we will be down to one child in the house. That is going to be very weird for me, and probably even weirder for our son. I’m sure it will take some adjusting for him to get used to being an only child.

I started thinking about it, worrying about it even more so.

What if we had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night?

What if we were away at the Cancer Center and had to stay over, and he is home alone?

What if treatments get more intense and we are away for a week or more?

The questions flooded my mind, and I started to wonder how I would handle any of those situations. Of course, he is old enough to stay alone, BUT would I want him to be home at night, all night, for multiple nights AND all alone?

NO!

Insert my idea and the reason for the serious talk with hubby.

In order for him to not interrupt with a quick retort, I asked him to hear me out and began with the obvious. Considering his poor health and the path life may take us down, I suggested we should “consider” getting our youngest a dog of his own. Someone to keep him company when his brother leaves for college, someone to stay with him if we have to go to the hospital, and someone who can offer just a dose of HAPPY we could all use right now.

Surprisingly, without much more effort than that we were all researching dogs, putting in our two cents and coming up with just what we needed. Of course, I wanted a non-shedder, not too big, a good family dog, and a protector. My son wanted a dog that he could take hunting and fishing and train to be his best friend.

I was thinking a dog by summer. School would be out, summer would be a perfect time for training and it would give us a little time to save.

However, with the discovery of a great breeder, Bingham Kennels, and a litter on the way due by mid-February, we were destined to become the new family for a German Wirehaired Pointer.

So about a month ago, we became the proud “grandparents” to a new pup.

Yeah, right! I’m her mommy, and we all know it. I put her to bed every night in my bathroom, and wake up with her many mornings unless of course hubby is feeling well, hears her awake and beats me to it.

She has been a “burst of joy” in our house. And, I do mean burst.

Some days, I think we are crazy for taking on this journey. Can’t afford this journey. Don’t have time for this journey.

BUT…

When I see that sweet little puppy hopping around the yard like a bunny, pouncing on a squeaky toy, or whining to sit on my lap, she touches my heart. She has her moments, but she has brought so much pleasure to our house.

Sometimes she bites too hard, sneaks through the fence, chews my throw pillows, snatches my dish towels or won’t walk properly on her leash, but she is a great snuggler, furnishes several laughs a day and melts our hearts more often than we can count.

The best part of all is the one person who wanted a puppy the least is the one person who adores the puppy most. Hubby walks her down the driveway, sits out on the deck with her, plays tug of war and fetch and will even get up early to give her some exercise.

Puppies may not be miracle workers, but they sure can heal hearts that are hurting.

Welcome to our family Blaze Jenna…you are like a tornado at 8 in the morning, make our world more than a little crazy at times, but oh you bring many laughs and so much JOY! xo

Posted in Self Help

Renewed Hope

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

I anticipate with the celebration of Easter this past weekend everyone is feeling a renewed sense of hope in the midst of these trying times? When we look at the conditions Jesus withstood it makes our problems shallow in comparison.

I have had many pep talks from friends as well as within my own mind over the last several days trying to get over the hurdles we are facing. Our household has been a little stressed with individual circumstances, along with the the big obvious one affecting our whole family.

Last week, I was about at my breaking point, finding myself depressed and lost. I was out of my regular routine and so was everyone else. Life was a little tense to say the least.

Easter came at a good time for all of us.

It was a reminder of trials and tribulations we all face, and it was a good reminder of all we have to be thankful for in spite of our situation.

I watched Andrea Bocelli perform Amazing Grace in Milan, and it was just another confirmation that the mercy of God can save us from despair.

Our family watched Renovation Church’s Easter message yesterday morning and it just brought everything to fruition. We were reminded of these things:

The Lord gives us peace and hope, and Jesus is greater than bad news whether it came in the past, comes today or tomorrow. We are God’s masterpiece, and He has a purpose over our life to do good things.

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:8-10

I know some of us are stronger believers than others, and we all waver in our commitments at times, but I promise you without hope I don’t know where I would be.

It has been the one consistent thing in my life that has kept me moving forward. Some days I find myself struggling, doubting and drifting back into the darkness, but there is light. We just have to look for it.

Today, I went back through my journal and read some of the entries that I had written back in the fall. Some were filled with gloom and hopelessness. I know this is a vicious cycle that replays itself every so often, but I was thinking to myself…Not today Satan.

I have been in that tragic state once too often lately, and today, I am feeling hopeful. I don’t want to be there right now. I don’t want to feel bad, or depressed, or worried. I don’t want to deal with chaos or opinions or rants. I don’t want to be reminded of the bad news.

It takes so much out of me and it’s exhausting. I just want it to stop. Just for a day, a minute. We have a trip to the Cancer Center this week, and that brings enough anxiety on its own. Today, I need to be strong and positive and full of renewed hope. I don’t have the energy for anything else.

We don’t need to listen to the news, or let social media consume us, or even think about the days to come. The bad, the darkness will exhaust us if we let it.

Today, we simply need to enjoy the sunshine, think positive thoughts and focus on all the good in our lives. It is right in front of us. Find hope, find peace…the Joy comes with it. xo

Posted in Devotional, Self Help

Find Joy

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you ever feel like the past won’t let go of you?

I know we aren’t suppose to dwell on what’s over and done with, but just because something is in the past doesn’t make it finished. Sometimes we feel the need to finish it ourselves.

Often, I say I dislike social media. I guess that’s not totally true since there are obvious perks to using it, but I guess I mean to say I dislike what social media does to people.

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

Proverbs 11:12

Sometimes people use social media as a platform to portray this make believe life. Why do people paint this perfect little life that doesn’t exist?

I don’t understand why someone would make a comment on social media they would never say to someone’s face.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago, and she said she doesn’t do social media because it makes her feel bad. She said she feels like people display this flawless life and it just makes her feel depressed about her own problems. Then, she feels she’s the only one struggling to get through the week.

I didn’t tell her I’m kind of envious of her for not succumbing to the social media pressures. However, I like it gives me the excuse to talk on the phone with her to catch up and engage in real conversation. I miss the days of talking on the phone and hearing the comfort of someone’s voice rather than getting a dry text message with a quick hello.

Our conversation made me start thinking about what she said and sadly, she’s right. I’ve actually had the same feelings myself. I’m probably one of the few people who has only been on social media in the last five years, and honestly I was just as happy before, maybe even happier.

No, not maybe. I was happier.

Lately, I have tried to limit my time, mainly just using it to post an occasional picture of my children to show how much I miss them all being together, to know I’m thinking about them, and for sharing my blog or inspirational quotes.

Many people only share the part of their life on social media they want people to know about. Then, there’s the other side who scours every nook and cranny to debate, argue and call people out.

And, let’s not forget the dreadful realization kid’s use it to bully other kids. Or worse, the parents bully.

The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.

Provers 10:31-32

Don’t get me wrong, social media is beneficial in a variety ways, and offers an easy avenue for promoting and getting the word out. We know society as a whole is curious. It’s our human nature, and most of us are guilty of being curious.

However, social media isn’t the real problem. Just like in most cases it’s not how it’s used, it’s how it’s abused. We, as in people, are the problem.

I have never been one to overshare my personal life. I like to be a private person, only sharing with those I’m closest. In the past I have shared my feelings, my struggles and my life with some acquaintances, mistaken for friends, but I learned the hard way not to do that anymore.

Not in that way. Now, I share my story for many reasons, but not necessarily my personal life. Some ways are obvious, and some would spark too many questions I am not obligated to answer. Regardless, I want you all to know you are not alone in your battles.

Many times, I have felt out of place, out of my comfort zone, and honestly, alone.

I realized I can be surrounded by a million people and feel like the only one in the room. I’ve been there more than once. Who am I kidding, I’ve been there more often than not.

Recently, my husband and I were talking about several years ago when the boys played sports and we traveled around. I loved it for the kids, but I hated it for myself. I never felt part of the group, never felt I had a place and looking back don’t think it was necessarily a happy experience for any of us. Perhaps, it was an eye-opening, learning experience.

During those days I wanted so desperately to have a group of friends, have a squad, have support. I had none of that. I don’t really see or talk to those people anymore, and honestly that’s fine. I know many of them are probably battling their own hidden demons, and I am here battling mine in the open.

I’m at peace. I have what I need. And, for once in my life I am fine with that, and I don’t really care what other people think. Not at all. If I did, I wouldn’t be writing this.

I think it takes a life changing event, or a come to Jesus moment in order to get to this point, this comfort zone. Or maybe, it just comes with age, a dose of reality and trusting in God.

So much pain that no one even knows about. So many inner struggles. So much brokenness. So much heartbreak people cannot begin to understand.

But, that is for another day when I am ready to talk about it.

It is so easy to sit back and judge others’ struggles. Empathetic hearts break because of your pain while apathetic ones judge and relish. Or maybe, in a sense, they are just broken, too.

Don’t try others when you have no concept of the storm they are in. Some people are so oblivious to their surroundings, but then again maybe that’s because they choose to be. I have shut so many people out of my life for that very reason, but they have no seat around my table.

I have my inner cirlce, and I have an outer circle. And, the two never touch.

No one has a perfect life. Look around at all the people who seem to have everything money can buy.

Happiness isn’t something you can achieve through social media or social status for that matter. It’s not something money can buy. It’s not a level you can get through in life and hold onto forever.

It doesn’t get you the golden ticket for sure. Not to heaven anyway.

Life is hard. We are all struggling and God never promised you it would be easy.

Happiness doesn’t come from things, or even people. Happiness comes from within yourself. It is a mood, an emotion.

Joy comes from God when we trust in Him. Seek God and your life will be an abundance of joy.

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

John 16:24

Don’t look at social media or at others for your joy. Look at your faith.

Everyone around you isn’t really without struggles even though some days it seems that way. I promise you’re never going to see a post about all the worries or insecurities in someone’s heart. It’s easier to conceal our pain within ourselves than to admit to the world that it’s real.

I have realized if I can help someone else, then I should help them. It may be painful, but within that pain I have found my JOY. xo