Author: gracelovebiscuits

Posted in Self Love

Practicing Positivity

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Does being positive and happy come naturally?

Do you think being positive equates to being happy?

Are joy and happiness one and the same?

I’ve been thinking about all of the above lately.

And, I will answer my own questions.

No, No, and No.

I have been focusing on the positive, consciously devoting time to myself and my happiness, and trusting God’s joy is within me. It is constant work, and I am nonetheless a work in progress.

But, I feel like most of us could say the same. I don’t think people genuinely are full of positive energy and happiness ALL the time. Many would like us to believe that, but they are probably lying to us and themselves.

We don’t live in a perfect world, and we all have to make our lives manageable. Life is hard, and I’m not sure where we got the idea that it was anything more.

Life has always been hard.

We all have problems, insecurities, fears, worries, battles inside our own heads, struggles no one knows we are dealing with.

We all sin. We all make mistakes. We all get angry or upset.

And, guess what? It’s okay. We are all imperfect, and we are all human. We all have faults, and we all live behind closed doors.

The best we can hope for, the best we can do is to continue to work on our own flaws and weaknesses.

Each day I wake up and choose happiness. Choose positivity. Choose joy. And, choose to live life with my own instruction book. It’s the only one that makes sense. It’s time to realize that.

Live life to the best of your ability. No one else really matters

Here are some tips to consider when looking for positivity, peace and happiness in YOUR life:

  1. Focus on the positive side of every situation.

It may not always be easy, but remember something good comes out of everything, even the bad. We may not realize it at the time, but there is always something to be grateful for.

2. Don’t compare your life to others.

We may think everyone else is living the good life. No worries, no financial struggles, no illness, no insecurities, or relationship problems, but do we really believe their life is made in a bed of roses. We all have “stuff” we are dealing with, even if we can’t always see it.

3. Don’t believe everything you see or read.

Social media can take you on a fast track in a downward spiral if you are scrolling social media looking for happiness. It’s not there so limit the screen time.

4. Distance yourself from people who steal your peace.

This is a BIG one for me because every week I’m feeling the need to cut someone out of my life, or limit my conversations with them. This is why I don’t call people too often. I can’t stand the negativity, the complaining, the bad moods. And, did I mention the negativity? Solitude and loneliness can sometimes be a blessing, and I mean that. I can’t focus on getting through the storms in my life when someone else is always breathing those negative vibes in my ear.

5. Read positive, inspiring, and self-love quotes every day.

Every day I post quotes on my instagram (@gracelovebiscuits) story to not only remind myself but also help others to remind themselves as well. We all need to encourage one another in a positive way and push negativity out of our minds. No joy or happiness comes from being in a bad or sad mood.

6. Worry about yourself and mind your business.

Choose to focus on your own life and make it better. Keep your business to yourself and respect others’ privacy. Sometimes we don’t have to know everything about everyone, and it’s really not our business anyway. The less you involve yourself in other’s concerns the happier you will be. Focus on life in your household, not someone else’s.

Peace and Love everyone….xo.

Posted in children

I See It!

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you see it?

I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we are dealing with we forget to stop and think about the joy amongst us.

Lately, I have been super busy with my children, and what’s going on in their worlds. It’s a busy time with the school year ending, graduation, summer, birthdays. It has all been a whirlwind, and it has been a distraction from many other parts of my life.

But, it has also made me aware of how my children ARE my life.

I will never struggle one single day wondering what I have to be grateful for, because I have them.

Even while wandering down a difficult path or rushing through a busy life, we can all take a minute to think about that.

My attention immediately goes to those thoughts in the back of my mind. The ones I keep hidden away, the ones I try not to remind myself of too often, but the ones that are constantly there. Sometimes haunting me, but a reminder to have hope for some things and count my blessings for others.

I see one mother fighting alongside her son. Battling for his life with every ounce of strength and faith she has. Searching for a treatment or cure, praying for a miracle. Never giving up, not knowing what “No” is.

I think to myself she is a warrior, fighting what must be the most unimaginable crusade of her life. Against a fury that will not let loose or give up.

I see another mother begging God to let her son come back to her. To wake up and be that little boy she so desperately needs to hear call out her name.

I know she must think she is living in hell. Her son’s life spared, her being able to hold him, but wondering if he really knows who she is.

I see it.

There’s the mother who lost her daughter on her wedding day. Lost her son to addiction. Lost her baby at birth.

I see it.

There’s the mother who sat beside her son’s hospital bed after a terrible accident. The one who prayed beside him for his pain to subside. The one who knows he was lucky.

I feel that.

And, I see it.

Today, I said I will never regret the time I have spent on my children. The time spent worrying for them, praying for them, hurting for them.

The time spent playing rather than cleaning the kitchen, helping them with homework rather than going to bed early, eating their cotton candy ice cream because they liked my mint chip.

I see it.

And, I have no regrets about it.

None.

I have realized it’s ridiculous to sweat the small stuff.

Or, to worry about a perfect house. Perfect kids. Perfect grades. Perfect social status. Perfect life.

Even if we pretend it to be that way, we know in our mind it’s not true. And, at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter anyway.

The only thing that really matters is if WE are happy, and if there’s love and kindness in the hearts we raised.

That’s JOY. And, that is what matters most.

And yes, I see it!

Posted in Self Love

The Message

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you ever feel like everywhere you turn you are being sent a sign or message?

Lately, I feel surrounded by a message. Of course my normal first reaction is to ask that million dollar question.

Why?

Why now?

Do I need to prepare for something?

I think the why in many situations helps us understand. It helps us justify. It helps us come to terms with the unknown.

And, I always find myself wondering about the unknown.

I know everyone on this planet has probably at one time or another caught themselves wondering. I guess it’s human nature, and even more true for some of us compared to others.

For me, trust is somewhat of a struggle in general. I don’t know why, but I suspect it has to do with something deeply embedded within me. I tend to be guided by my heart, and sometimes I feel that’s not a good thing because it puts it out there in a wide open space to get broken.

And, it has been.

I always want people to know where I’m coming from, speak my mind in the sense that I’m being honest even when it’s something that someone doesn’t want to hear. The best friends in my world are the ones who are going to get the raw truth from me. If I didn’t care about them I would lie and tell them what they want to hear. In my opinion, that’s not being a good friend.

In return, I want that from my close friends.

But, I will clarify one point. I don’t need that or want that from everyone. If you aren’t there for me on all the bad days, through all the tears, checking on me weekly…that’s not really your place. We all have our people. And, mine know who they are. Our people don’t have the same boundaries as others. Our tribe operates in the same circle as we do. Everyone else is just an outside observer.

Not everyone deserves our trust and not everyone needs it. Certainly, not everyone has it.

I am a work in progress, and I imagine some of you are, too.

I struggle knowing I trust a few select people, and I stumble at times when it comes to trusting the Lord. It’s a battle inside my head, and I wrestle with it. But, probably not in ways you imagine.

I know that trust is what has kept me afloat in this storm I am in. I know it is what wakes me up every morning and what keeps me strong.

I know. But, when it comes to my fate, my future, my security, I grapple with what I cannot see. The darkness is a hard place to reside, especially when there’s not sense to what the lightness will bring.

I want so desperately to have that trust and faith all the time, and I am working towards that goal.

I want that hope.

I want that security.

Making myself happier, more confident, and more aware of the good in my life will get me there. I trust that with all my heart.

Meanwhile, I will be a work in progress, reminding myself each day that I have so much in life to be grateful for, in spite of all the roadblocks. So many blessings to appreciate, and so many reasons to keeping trusting it will all work out.

Trusting in the unknown.

Fate.

Hope.

The greater good.

There may not be an answer to the why in that, but there is a how.

And, there’s a message in that.

Posted in Self Help, Self Love

Finding Peace

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you have peace in your life?

I mean real peace.

People have asked me before if I am at peace with my husband having cancer. I don’t think I will necessarily ever be at peace with that. Not in my forseeable future. But, I’m sure one day, one I cannot imagine, it will come.

It’s difficult to be at peace with a hard-pressed life. It’s hard to accept truths I don’t want to think about. I will say, I am at peace with not being at peace with that. If that’s hard to understand, then you’ve probably never been in my shoes. I don’t think I have a way of explaining it. I just feel like being at peace with it would mean I accept it. And, I’m not ready to do that just yet. I still have hope, and maybe a wish for a miracle.

I feel like I walk through life, day after day, and there’s constantly something happening, something daring me to go and search for my solitude. It can be exhausting at times, overloading my brain with intricate tasks, and adding inessential weight to my already strained shoulders.

I know a healthy person doesn’t live like that. A praying truth seeker doesn’t either.

My goal is to be both.

I am on my way.

During yesterday’s church service I recognized how guilty I am of eluding faith. I am skeptical to trust people often, and I’m regretful of not trusting God all the time. I realize I want things to turn out how I want them to be, but in God’s world I know I don’t get something just because I want it. I have to trust that is how He means for it to be. My mind struggles to let go, but I am a work in progress.

Aren’t we all?

I have discovered finding peace, remaining at peace, takes constant, committed intellect. It is simply quieting my mind in all the chaos. A place where I am silent, my mind relaxed, and I can just simply be.

It is minding my own business, it is avoiding distractions, it is not letting silly incidents upset me. It is not worrying what other people think, it is loving myself, it is accepting, it is letting myself be free. Immune to stress and worry, and insecurites, and most of all the unknown.

Finding peace can be such a simple chore, but only when I take down the walls, trust, and allow myself to let go of all my burdens. Meditate, clear the mind, and just let it happen. But, I know that’s easier said than done.

For me, I try to make a conscious effort to clear the air. With my friends and family, I say what I’m feeling. I have realized I have two choices. I either speak my mind and make peace with it, or I remain silent and make peace with it.

What’s the difference?

The choice is mine. I get to decide what lives in my head.

And, my aim is to not let people or things that don’t belong take up space anymore. I say what’s on my mind, I don’t hold my thoughts and feelings prisoner in my own head. I say it, I pray about it, and I give it to the Lord. It is simply the way it needs to be.

It is my coping mechanism. And, sometimes I fall. But, I remind myself, and then I get back up.

Lose the things, lose the places, lose the people, and lose the noise. Distance myself from all that forges chaos in my life.

Control my thoughts. Tame my mind. Don’t let anyone or anything that threatens my peace have access.

At this moment I am in the midst of a storm in my life. Some days I feel it spinning recklessly, but I know I am stronger. Somewhere within the center of my own peace there is the calmness inside my heart, and I simply just have to take ahold of it and breathe.

Posted in Self Help, Self Love

Stress…Less

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

How are you feeling today?

It’s a question we should be asking ourselves daily. Especially if we are going through some difficult episodes in life. And, I think over the last year we probably would all qualify on that account.

I’ve been on a month long or more hiatus, taking care of my family, and taking care of myself. People say it all the time that we need to take care of ourselves first, but rarely do we do it. Some times our body let’s us know when we’ve reached a critical point though, and we all need to heed the warning.

I felt myself slipping back into a a place I sat for a long while not that long ago, and I knew I couldn’t go back there. I’ve been eating healthy, exercising, and taking time for myself more often. At times I feel selfish for spending time on myself, but if I don’t, who will? It’s a serious question to ask yourself.

It’s easy to feel ourselves slipping when we are aware of the symptoms so make a mental note of the warning signs. Stress really can kill us, and at the very least it can alter our health before we recognize it.

For me, I knew I was struggling, but before I realized it I was sick. And, it’s not a sickness like you may be thinking. It’s a sickness that affects your overall mental and physical health. There are many warning signs:

  • high blood pressure
  • headaches
  • digestive or stomach problems
  • weight loss or gain
  • depression or anxiety
  • sleep problems
  • chronic fatigue
  • chest pain or heart palpitations

And, how do I know?

Because I suffered from all of the signs at one point or another. And, they are all signs of an over-stressed body. Mentally exhausted to the extreme of where I could not cognitively recover on my own.

I am happy to say I still have bad days, but lately it’s no longer bad weeks. I call that a win. Positivity, finding the good in everything, staying focused, entertaining a very small circle, and being grateful are good habits to portray. We are not all going through the same storms, but we are all dealing with challenges in our lives.

Up until this point my path has been filled with darkness, fear, despair. But, as my mind gets stronger, I can see my strength brings light. It is not as if I still don’t have feelings of fear, but I know wherever my path takes me I am more prepared for whatever I may encounter.

I am on a mission. Watch and see.

Posted in Devotional, Family

Two Pairs

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

When our children leave the nest I believe we all think in the back of our minds, they will now realize how much they really need us. 

But, who needs who more? Is it really our children who will realize how much they need us, or rather is it us who will realize how much we need them?

For me, it is an easy answer. Indeed, my children need me, but I don’t think they realize how much I need them.

The Lord blessed me with two pairs (two girls and two boys), and I count my blessings daily. There are no words within me to describe how much they mean to me. They make up the four corners of my world. Not to say we don’t have frustrating moments, but they bring me more joy than anything I could ever imagine. 

When my husband got diagnosed with cancer three years ago, and my second daughter left for college shortly after, it was almost harder than when my first daughter left the nest. I know in part it was because she went 1200 miles away to school, and her dad had just been diagnosed with a horrible disease. I was uncertain how often I would see her, and I knew I was going to miss having a daughter in the house. I was now going to be living with three males, and that seemed like a heavy load of testosterone. 

She and I talked on the phone often, and my older daughter came home to visit every month. We managed that first year the best we could.

It started off with a multitude of challenges having to travel to the cancer center more than two hours away for several weeks. We were navigating an unwelcome addition to our lives with a cancer diagnosis, not knowing at times what it meant for our family’s fate. It was hard being away from my boys a week at a time, in order to be with their dad during treatments. I missed  having my girls by my side. My nest seemed to be falling apart, and the only comfort I felt was knowing my children, all four of them, had each other.

The holidays rolled around, the girls were back home and, there appeared to be some sense of normalcy in our home. But, their dad was fighting an infection, and I knew in a few short weeks I would relive the agony of them leaving for college again. When it was time for the girls to head back to school, I felt it in my heart. I love my boys more than any other momma, but girls and boys are divergent. We have different relationships. 

My husband, still battling cancer, took up much of my time. It wasn’t easy, and that was another adjustment. I fought off the depressed days, the anxiety, the stress…barely. I found myself mourning my old life, wishing for the days when the children were younger, praying for no illness. 

Summer soon came and once again life reverted back to some of what it used to be. The girls were home, and I had my two pairs. All my many blessings.
By the end of summer, it was time to return to school, and the cancer returned as well. That year was just as hard as the previous one, maybe harder.
We managed to get through it, and in some odd ways the adjustments became easier. I prayed to God daily for strength to get us through.

Fast forward two years until last summer, and my oldest son left for college. It has been the strangest of times, leaving another emptiness inside my heart. Raising four children has been my life, and now there is only one remaining in the house. My lifelong job, nearing its end, as I have always known it. And, there is nothing I can do about it except hide my helplessness.

Why do they grow up so fast? My most favorite job and fondest memories are ones that include being a mother. Why does this life, as I have always known it, have to mature so rapidly.

Not more than three weeks after my oldest son left for college, his younger brother suffered burns to his arms, hands, and face. The evening of the accident my son came home from college to stay, while my youngest spent a few days in the burn center a couple of hours away. 

It was a time that changed me. It was a moment I got on my knees and prayed over my son for comfort and healing. I didn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen. I couldn’t see past our pain or the trauma we suffered. It was mentally debilitating, and once again I was begging God to heal us all. 

Not long after, I understood how God uses people, situations and even grief to heal. One tragedy had suddenly healed another brokenness, and our family was closer and stronger than ever before.  

Another hurdle we managed to get through, all by the grace of God.

The last three years have been exhausting at times, unbearable in many situations, and life altering at others. 

The one constant in my life, the one anchor, the one lifeline has been my children. Despite the fact their dad is in the fight of his life, they have remained, for the most part, extremely resilient. 

Their strength has enabled me to face each new day, and they have encouraged me to seek support, given me the will to keep moving ahead and push on. They have been my constant beacon of hope. I cannot imagine my life without the four of them. They make me work harder, desire to be stronger, and refuse to give up. Along with the good Lord, they have been my saving grace!

I pray for them daily to get through the hurdles life has thrown at them. I pray for their safety, their strength and for their happiness. I have realized if God will give me that, along with the strength and wisdom I need to be their mother, then I can get through this life no matter the stage or what it throws at me.

I used to believe God never gives us more than we can handle, but I don’t believe that is true anymore. God has given me so much more than I ever imagined I could handle. But, he has also given me the courage I need to overcome my obstacles. My children have given me the will.

So often I find myself sad at the fact they are growing up, but regardless of how old they are, I will always be their mother. This is simply an interlude in the great play called life. 

And, who needs who more?

Perhaps, they don’t need me in the same ways as they once did, but I am certain I need them more than I ever have. And, I imagine that’s the way God intended for it to be.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Posted in Self Help

Curve Balls

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Life has been throwing curve balls lately.

Everywhere I turn! They come at me out of nowhere, and honestly I find myself waiting for the next one.

At times life will appear to become somewhat normal, seemingly before it once again starts to unravel. I find myself dodging the stumbling blocks. Ducking to get out of the way.

I realze life is never going to be perfect, but for once can it just be a bit boring? No drama, No bad news. No forks in the road. No curve balls.

I catch my breath just long enough before the next strike. My children, their happiness and well being, scanxiety setting in. Can there just not be more moments of peace?

It’s an impossible question, with impossible answers, but I imagine it even though I know my life is full of challenges.

I cannot physically be two places at once, but why do I feel like I’m on a roller coaster one minute and a merry-go-round the next? It never stops.

I have been reminding myself all this is normal for someone in my place. I try to find a few minutes of silemce and quiet every single day. I attempt to turn off my brain, but in reality I know I’m not built that way. I think too much sometimes and always searching to solve the puzzle. I am working on it.

I may not be perfect. I may not be the way people think I should be, but I am me. And, what do they know about all this? They don’t know everything.

I have a good heart. I am strong. Even when I think I will break, I know in my mind that is not an option.

And, I won’t.

When life if overwhelming remember to take care of yourself:

1. refocus

Take at least 10 minutes every day and refocus your mind, meditate, or just think positive thoughts. Think about something good and happy.

2. eat. drink.

It’s amazing we can forget to eat or not feel like eating. Consuming plenty of water, drinking a smoothie or protein shake, and getting good nutrition can do wonders for the mind and body. Practice good gut health. We all know how stress can have your belly in knots.

3. Get physical

Go for a walk, do a seven minute workout, yoga, stretching, anything that gets you moving even if it’s running up and down the stairs.

4. take time out

Whether it’s taking a bubble bath or just curling up with a good book, do something that you want to do. Even if it means putting off that one load of laundry or leaving the dishes in the sink, take some time out for yourself, even if it’s 30 minutes to just sit in silence.

5. get plenty of rest

There’s nothing like being tired and cranky AND overwhelmed. Make sure you get to bed early, even if you spend a little time reading before you fall asleep. Being tired isn’t going to ease your stress level. (I need to work on the early bedtime.)

6. stay positive

No matter what’s going on in your life, find something positive out of each day. Some days it may take more effort than others, but look for the good in every situation. It is there. We just need to have the desire to find it.

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Posted in Self Help

Urgent Answers

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

With so much uncertainty in the world do you ever just find yourself searching urgently for the answers?

Who?

Why?

What if?

When?

I find it especially difficult these days to not let my mind veer off course, end up in a frantic tailspin, swirling out of control. It’s difficult not to prowl around searching for urgent answers to impossible questions. Questions I realize only a higher power could possibily answer, but yet, ones I am convinced I have a right to know.

Then on the flip side, there are the urgent, dreadful answers, once revealed, my heart cannot completely recover from no matter what I do.

It’s hard to be unseen or unheard.

It’s even harder to decipher what answers we really want. Or, the ones we really need.

Inquisitive mind?

Truth seeker?

Or, maybe a self-destructive soul who seeks out the truth to questions sometimes better off left unanswered. One with no compassion for the human heart.

Until it’s too late.

Shattered in a million pieces with answers I so urgently searched for in spite of knowing some things are better off left undisclosed.

Why did I imagine my fears were fooling me?

The story of a life. An inquiring mind that wishes a moment too late, I wouldn’t have asked the question, wouldn’t have read the test results, wouldn’t have put two and two together, wouldn’t have said no sugar coating.

That dire truth I feel in my gut, unknowingly eluding me with an imagination of silence and uncertainty. In my head, fear of the uncharted and darkness is much worse than the urgent answer I seek. That is until it’s delivered.

That’s me in a broken, cracked, and irreparable nutshell.

And, like anything broken…it hurts like heck.

Wanting to see into the future, wanting to be a realist, wanting to know the unknowns.

Patience is strength. And, I am learning this life requires both.

Sometimes, it is better to just live in the moment and relish it. What we don’t know can’t hurt us. Our paths are already planned.

In the end, the answers don’t change the path. Accept it and have faith love conquers all.

Five healthy habits to live in the moment:

distract yourself

If you find yourself with too much time on your hands, searching for answers, thinking too much or just worrying and wondering too often, find a hobby, consider a part time job or volunteer your time to a needy cause. Staying busy and creating distractions can be the best medicine when we are stressed and anxiety ridden. Find something to occupy your mind and fill the time. Don’t let your thoughts drive your mind down the wrong road.

write down your thoughts

Some days I find myself just wanting to be alone, not having to talk to anyone. On these days particularly, I know I do some of my best writing. It gives me a chance to write down what’s on my mind and work through it on my own. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do, how to think or feel, or giving me advice. I just have myself to listen to and work through my thoughts. Most often it’s the best feeling in the world because I got through the moment by myself. It gives me a sense of self satisfaction and control. At a time when we may feel we have no control over anything, I consider this a win.

enjoy one day at a time

This is a hard one for me. It’s easy to think we can simply just think about today, but when our thoughts escalate it can be a domino effect. One thought leads to another and before we know it, we are trying to analyze every possible move or scenario to predict the future.

When the mind starts reeling, take a step back, focus on the present and force yourself to stop the thought process. Bring your thoughts back to the present, take a few deep breaths and allow your thoughts to concentrate on the current moment.

find someone to talk to

Phone a friend, find a counselor, join a support group or just find anyone who will listen or can relate. The pandemic has socially challenged all of us, but having coffee with a friend, talking on the phone, facetiming or seeking therapy is a way to talk through any struggles and calm your anxiety regarding the uncertainty of tomorrow, no matter what that looks like for you.

refocus your mind

At night, when I’m ready to fall asleep, I try to listen to a meditation that redirects my thoughts to relaxation and unwinding. It helps focus my mind on my breathing, relaxing my body and training my brain to just let my thoughts wander in and out. It’s amazing how much more relaxed and less tense I become in just 10 minutes of this self reflection.

For many of us, I think we can agree nighttime is the worst for our minds to spiral out of control with thoughts of worry and what ifs. For me personally, I have realized if I can settle my mind before I try to fall asleep, I have a better chance of getting a good night’s sleep.

Above all else, cut yourself some slack, take a break, pray and give it to God. There is contentment to be found somewhere in our future.

Don’t seek urgent answers. Seek PEACE. Seek JOY!

Posted in Self Help

Unseen Signs

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever feel like you were just sent a sign?

Something was revealed to you. You read a story, a quote or a message.

Ever feel like you discovered something and it just clicked in your head and resonated with everything you’ve been questioning in your mind?

Me, too.

I often feel my life is a BIG puzzle, and I am just scrambling around trying to find all the missing pieces. And, sometimes there’s a piece that looks exact but doesn’t fit quite right.

Sometimes I find myself staring, searching then realizing it’s all right there in front of me. I just didn’t see it.

And, I realize maybe, it wasn’t time.

I feel I have spent much of the last two and a half years being scared, worrying, grieving. After my son’s accident last fall I began this regression. I spent all my time worrying, stressing and taking care of my son and husband. I was stuck in this fear mode that began to consume me.

I found my heart battling with my brain, one bringing me down and the other fighting to keep me afloat. At the time I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what was happening, but the signs, the pieces…they were there.

Thanksgiving brought my three older children home from college and back to the nest. For the next two months I spent the most time with my youngest daughter. Almost daily, day after day, was filled with moments with her.

I’m not certain what happened during those days, but I do know my children comfort my soul. They enliven me, they motivate me, they encourage me, and they inspire me. They make me want to be better in so many ways. The strength I see in them makes me want to be in undiluted joy.

After two months I dreaded the day she left, but what I don’t think she realized was what she gave me while she was here.

So many signs. So much resilience. So much peace.

I have sought strength daily and prayed for my children, because I didn’t know what else to do. At the same time, I have struggled, stumbled and grasped for something to hold onto, and I have fought for some kind of control within myself.

It has been like treading water, and I tired a long time ago. I kept fighting when there wasn’t a fight left. I believe in times of despair it is hard to see the signs, hard to find the pieces, hard to accept what is right in front of us.

Hard to trust what we cannot see.

But, never give up. It will present itself.

How does it happen?

For me, I got to the point of exhaustion. It’s a long, confusing and mentally draining road to take. My faith was the only place I could find strength, the only being who could get me through the darkness, the only power that could calm my heart. In the midst of my unknown, I was lost. I wasn’t strong enough by myself. I simply had to believe in what I could not see.

Trust

When we are struggling with things out of our control, struggling to change, struggling to be better or do better, or struggling with chaos or despair or heartbreak, we sometimes have to trust what we cannot see. We are on a path, unknowing to where it leads. Trust the journey.

Peace

Make peace in your heart. Take time out to rest and quiet the noise. In the silence, a higher power will speak to you and calm your soul. Simply finding some sort of peace, taking time out, quieting all the chaos and finding that solitude does the soul good.

Patience

Don’t lose patience. Have patience with yourself and in your faith. Things do not always come to us simply when we want them. We are not always on our own time. Simply, our path is set. Our journey will reveal itself to us when it is meant to happen. Be patient and have faith. Love yourself and give yourself the time you need.

hope

Never lose hope. Hope is all we have at times, and it has more power than we will ever know. Hope has saved souls, been the guiding light, and restored peace. Hope is a feeling of trust. Never lose it.

Posted in Self Help

Happy People

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Have you ever met anyone that just exudes happiness?

I think about the people I know who are always smiling, laughing, full of life, and I think to myself that is what happiness looks like.

Maybe it’s not a care in the world or such a thing as a bad day. Maybe it’s living life to the beat of my own drum. Maybe it’s about ridding life of stress or worry. Or just maybe, it’s a decision.

This year, I am determined to not get weighed down by all the obstacles and chaos. To smile, laugh, stress and worry less, and get some of the old me back. She is in there…and I’m dusting her off.

Perhaps, being happier is having less rather than more. Less of some things and more of what I already have. Maybe being happy is nothing more than a feeling and a state of mind. I do know happiness isn’t things or people or money or popularity or perhaps anything tangible. It’s not complex or demanding or cluttered.

Happiness is unpretentious.

I am convinced happiness is a choice.

Straightforward.

A peaceful place.

A spot, somewhere in the mind, that tickles the soul and makes a consistent, conscious effort to push on without hesistation. Without worry or doubt. Without negativity or overthinking.

Peace, positivity, faith.

I’m fairly certain that’s happiness.

What happy people do…

1. they smile and laugh a lot

It’s hard to smile and laugh and not be happy. Even in times I feel like crying, there is something to be said about laughter. Laughter releases endorphins and reduces stress. It’s amazing how a little laughter can help show the positive side of any situation. I am convinced laughter will make us all live longer. Smile…someone may be watching!

2. they take care of themselves mentally and physically

I have always heard how can we take care of anyone else or make them happy if we don’t do the same for ourselves? There are no truer words. Since being a caregiver for my husband, I have realized if I’m not taking care of myself, it’s harder to take care of him.

Exercising, eating healthier, and sleeping is all a part of taking care of me. All of it affects my mental and physical health and how I feel in general.

People used to say to me sleep, take a nap, rest when you can. And, I do. At times, the best sleep I’ve gotten has been between 7 and 9 am, and I’m not ashamed of it. Doing a 7-minute workout, treating myself to a healthy protein shake, or taking a long trip to the grocery can all count for something.

3. they are not materialistic

We all know searching for happiness in “things” is a dead end road, but yet, we have all been guilty of it. Treat yourself to a new pair of shoes or buy the dress. Just don’t use it as a crutch to make yourself happy because we all know it won’t last. The closet will be overflowing with items never worn, and happiness will still be in limbo.

Repeat after me…Happiness is not found in things!

4. they spend time with people they love

I would say happiness IS found in times. Times we spend with family, times we spend with friends, intimate times, fun times, grateful times, unforgettable times.

The time I spend with my family and close friends are the most memorable and the times that give me the love and support I need. Monthly game night with friends produces a mountain of laughs that I would never take for granted. (Thanks Girl Gang) The mother-daughter visits with my mom I will cherish forever, and the ones with my own girls fill my heart. 💜 Family dinners, holidays, trips…I wouldn’t trade them for all the things in the world.

5. they practice kindness and gratitude

Happiness comes from within. I love for someone to do special things for me, but I love giving to others. Buying a coffee for the person behind me in the drive thru makes me feel good inside. I think about how it made me smile when someone did it for me, so I want to pass it on. Good deeds go a long way when seeking happiness.

Being grateful for what I do have rather than focusing on what I don’t has made a huge difference in dealing with everything going on in my life. Look at the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Perception! Everything is how you perceive it. Don’t let your mind lose sight of that.

6. they don’t compare their life to others

Happy people don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. They don’t compare themselves to anyone else. Their life resides in the mold they make, and they shape it to fit into what makes them feel good. If we worry about what everyone else is doing then we are surely missing out on what we ourselves want.

Don’t compare your life to others, that’s not where you live!

7. THey take time out for themselves

Happy people go off the grid when they need to recharge. They focus on their inner world and keeping their stars aligned.

And, that is not found in someone else’s universe.

Feeling burned out or overwhelmed means we need to detox. Spend Saturday night at home, off your phone, with some relaxing music and a bubble bath. Or stay in for an intimate dinner and go to bed early.

8. they keep their circle small

We can be kind to everyone whether or not they are part of our tribe. Some people won’t like us just because of the color of our hair, but that’s their problem. Everyone has that one or two or few friends they just connect with in life. Make that your crew. It’s much easier to fit in a small circle than it is a crowd. It doesn’t mean we can’t be social with everyone, it just means we don’t need to be surrounded by a flock to be happy.

Surround yourself with “a few good men,” who are positive, good people.

9. they are self-disciplined

I’m pretty certain the people I know who have their mind focused on the prize are the most cheerful. And, the prize is what they want out of life which transforms to their happiness. Whether it’s a job, a lifestyle or a hobby, I believe when we set goals for ourselves, strive for those goals, and ultimatley achieve them is when we realize we are happy doing exactly what it is WE want.

Don’t get distracted by shiny things. Don’t let others deter you from the path you set out on to achieve your goals.

10. they realize happiness comes from within

At no point in life should we ever rely on somone else to make us happy. People can contribute to our happiness, but they don’t make us happy. Only our soul knows what it needs. We do have priorities and responsibilities to our spouse, children, family, but we also have a responsibility to ourself.

We can’t do what makes everyone else content all the time and expect to have all of the happy we want or need. And, we can’t ask anyone else to do it either. Happiness isn’t found in that equation.

It is only when we search within our particular mind and soul that our path to our own happiness will reveal itself.