Tag: peace

Posted in Self Help, Self Love

Finding Peace

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you have peace in your life?

I mean real peace.

People have asked me before if I am at peace with my husband having cancer. I don’t think I will necessarily ever be at peace with that. Not in my forseeable future. But, I’m sure one day, one I cannot imagine, it will come.

It’s difficult to be at peace with a hard-pressed life. It’s hard to accept truths I don’t want to think about. I will say, I am at peace with not being at peace with that. If that’s hard to understand, then you’ve probably never been in my shoes. I don’t think I have a way of explaining it. I just feel like being at peace with it would mean I accept it. And, I’m not ready to do that just yet. I still have hope, and maybe a wish for a miracle.

I feel like I walk through life, day after day, and there’s constantly something happening, something daring me to go and search for my solitude. It can be exhausting at times, overloading my brain with intricate tasks, and adding inessential weight to my already strained shoulders.

I know a healthy person doesn’t live like that. A praying truth seeker doesn’t either.

My goal is to be both.

I am on my way.

During yesterday’s church service I recognized how guilty I am of eluding faith. I am skeptical to trust people often, and I’m regretful of not trusting God all the time. I realize I want things to turn out how I want them to be, but in God’s world I know I don’t get something just because I want it. I have to trust that is how He means for it to be. My mind struggles to let go, but I am a work in progress.

Aren’t we all?

I have discovered finding peace, remaining at peace, takes constant, committed intellect. It is simply quieting my mind in all the chaos. A place where I am silent, my mind relaxed, and I can just simply be.

It is minding my own business, it is avoiding distractions, it is not letting silly incidents upset me. It is not worrying what other people think, it is loving myself, it is accepting, it is letting myself be free. Immune to stress and worry, and insecurites, and most of all the unknown.

Finding peace can be such a simple chore, but only when I take down the walls, trust, and allow myself to let go of all my burdens. Meditate, clear the mind, and just let it happen. But, I know that’s easier said than done.

For me, I try to make a conscious effort to clear the air. With my friends and family, I say what I’m feeling. I have realized I have two choices. I either speak my mind and make peace with it, or I remain silent and make peace with it.

What’s the difference?

The choice is mine. I get to decide what lives in my head.

And, my aim is to not let people or things that don’t belong take up space anymore. I say what’s on my mind, I don’t hold my thoughts and feelings prisoner in my own head. I say it, I pray about it, and I give it to the Lord. It is simply the way it needs to be.

It is my coping mechanism. And, sometimes I fall. But, I remind myself, and then I get back up.

Lose the things, lose the places, lose the people, and lose the noise. Distance myself from all that forges chaos in my life.

Control my thoughts. Tame my mind. Don’t let anyone or anything that threatens my peace have access.

At this moment I am in the midst of a storm in my life. Some days I feel it spinning recklessly, but I know I am stronger. Somewhere within the center of my own peace there is the calmness inside my heart, and I simply just have to take ahold of it and breathe.

Posted in Self Help

Urgent Answers

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

With so much uncertainty in the world do you ever just find yourself searching urgently for the answers?

Who?

Why?

What if?

When?

I find it especially difficult these days to not let my mind veer off course, end up in a frantic tailspin, swirling out of control. It’s difficult not to prowl around searching for urgent answers to impossible questions. Questions I realize only a higher power could possibily answer, but yet, ones I am convinced I have a right to know.

Then on the flip side, there are the urgent, dreadful answers, once revealed, my heart cannot completely recover from no matter what I do.

It’s hard to be unseen or unheard.

It’s even harder to decipher what answers we really want. Or, the ones we really need.

Inquisitive mind?

Truth seeker?

Or, maybe a self-destructive soul who seeks out the truth to questions sometimes better off left unanswered. One with no compassion for the human heart.

Until it’s too late.

Shattered in a million pieces with answers I so urgently searched for in spite of knowing some things are better off left undisclosed.

Why did I imagine my fears were fooling me?

The story of a life. An inquiring mind that wishes a moment too late, I wouldn’t have asked the question, wouldn’t have read the test results, wouldn’t have put two and two together, wouldn’t have said no sugar coating.

That dire truth I feel in my gut, unknowingly eluding me with an imagination of silence and uncertainty. In my head, fear of the uncharted and darkness is much worse than the urgent answer I seek. That is until it’s delivered.

That’s me in a broken, cracked, and irreparable nutshell.

And, like anything broken…it hurts like heck.

Wanting to see into the future, wanting to be a realist, wanting to know the unknowns.

Patience is strength. And, I am learning this life requires both.

Sometimes, it is better to just live in the moment and relish it. What we don’t know can’t hurt us. Our paths are already planned.

In the end, the answers don’t change the path. Accept it and have faith love conquers all.

Five healthy habits to live in the moment:

distract yourself

If you find yourself with too much time on your hands, searching for answers, thinking too much or just worrying and wondering too often, find a hobby, consider a part time job or volunteer your time to a needy cause. Staying busy and creating distractions can be the best medicine when we are stressed and anxiety ridden. Find something to occupy your mind and fill the time. Don’t let your thoughts drive your mind down the wrong road.

write down your thoughts

Some days I find myself just wanting to be alone, not having to talk to anyone. On these days particularly, I know I do some of my best writing. It gives me a chance to write down what’s on my mind and work through it on my own. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do, how to think or feel, or giving me advice. I just have myself to listen to and work through my thoughts. Most often it’s the best feeling in the world because I got through the moment by myself. It gives me a sense of self satisfaction and control. At a time when we may feel we have no control over anything, I consider this a win.

enjoy one day at a time

This is a hard one for me. It’s easy to think we can simply just think about today, but when our thoughts escalate it can be a domino effect. One thought leads to another and before we know it, we are trying to analyze every possible move or scenario to predict the future.

When the mind starts reeling, take a step back, focus on the present and force yourself to stop the thought process. Bring your thoughts back to the present, take a few deep breaths and allow your thoughts to concentrate on the current moment.

find someone to talk to

Phone a friend, find a counselor, join a support group or just find anyone who will listen or can relate. The pandemic has socially challenged all of us, but having coffee with a friend, talking on the phone, facetiming or seeking therapy is a way to talk through any struggles and calm your anxiety regarding the uncertainty of tomorrow, no matter what that looks like for you.

refocus your mind

At night, when I’m ready to fall asleep, I try to listen to a meditation that redirects my thoughts to relaxation and unwinding. It helps focus my mind on my breathing, relaxing my body and training my brain to just let my thoughts wander in and out. It’s amazing how much more relaxed and less tense I become in just 10 minutes of this self reflection.

For many of us, I think we can agree nighttime is the worst for our minds to spiral out of control with thoughts of worry and what ifs. For me personally, I have realized if I can settle my mind before I try to fall asleep, I have a better chance of getting a good night’s sleep.

Above all else, cut yourself some slack, take a break, pray and give it to God. There is contentment to be found somewhere in our future.

Don’t seek urgent answers. Seek PEACE. Seek JOY!

Posted in Self Help

Unseen Signs

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever feel like you were just sent a sign?

Something was revealed to you. You read a story, a quote or a message.

Ever feel like you discovered something and it just clicked in your head and resonated with everything you’ve been questioning in your mind?

Me, too.

I often feel my life is a BIG puzzle, and I am just scrambling around trying to find all the missing pieces. And, sometimes there’s a piece that looks exact but doesn’t fit quite right.

Sometimes I find myself staring, searching then realizing it’s all right there in front of me. I just didn’t see it.

And, I realize maybe, it wasn’t time.

I feel I have spent much of the last two and a half years being scared, worrying, grieving. After my son’s accident last fall I began this regression. I spent all my time worrying, stressing and taking care of my son and husband. I was stuck in this fear mode that began to consume me.

I found my heart battling with my brain, one bringing me down and the other fighting to keep me afloat. At the time I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what was happening, but the signs, the pieces…they were there.

Thanksgiving brought my three older children home from college and back to the nest. For the next two months I spent the most time with my youngest daughter. Almost daily, day after day, was filled with moments with her.

I’m not certain what happened during those days, but I do know my children comfort my soul. They enliven me, they motivate me, they encourage me, and they inspire me. They make me want to be better in so many ways. The strength I see in them makes me want to be in undiluted joy.

After two months I dreaded the day she left, but what I don’t think she realized was what she gave me while she was here.

So many signs. So much resilience. So much peace.

I have sought strength daily and prayed for my children, because I didn’t know what else to do. At the same time, I have struggled, stumbled and grasped for something to hold onto, and I have fought for some kind of control within myself.

It has been like treading water, and I tired a long time ago. I kept fighting when there wasn’t a fight left. I believe in times of despair it is hard to see the signs, hard to find the pieces, hard to accept what is right in front of us.

Hard to trust what we cannot see.

But, never give up. It will present itself.

How does it happen?

For me, I got to the point of exhaustion. It’s a long, confusing and mentally draining road to take. My faith was the only place I could find strength, the only being who could get me through the darkness, the only power that could calm my heart. In the midst of my unknown, I was lost. I wasn’t strong enough by myself. I simply had to believe in what I could not see.

Trust

When we are struggling with things out of our control, struggling to change, struggling to be better or do better, or struggling with chaos or despair or heartbreak, we sometimes have to trust what we cannot see. We are on a path, unknowing to where it leads. Trust the journey.

Peace

Make peace in your heart. Take time out to rest and quiet the noise. In the silence, a higher power will speak to you and calm your soul. Simply finding some sort of peace, taking time out, quieting all the chaos and finding that solitude does the soul good.

Patience

Don’t lose patience. Have patience with yourself and in your faith. Things do not always come to us simply when we want them. We are not always on our own time. Simply, our path is set. Our journey will reveal itself to us when it is meant to happen. Be patient and have faith. Love yourself and give yourself the time you need.

hope

Never lose hope. Hope is all we have at times, and it has more power than we will ever know. Hope has saved souls, been the guiding light, and restored peace. Hope is a feeling of trust. Never lose it.

Posted in Self Help

Renewed Hope

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

I anticipate with the celebration of Easter this past weekend everyone is feeling a renewed sense of hope in the midst of these trying times? When we look at the conditions Jesus withstood it makes our problems shallow in comparison.

I have had many pep talks from friends as well as within my own mind over the last several days trying to get over the hurdles we are facing. Our household has been a little stressed with individual circumstances, along with the the big obvious one affecting our whole family.

Last week, I was about at my breaking point, finding myself depressed and lost. I was out of my regular routine and so was everyone else. Life was a little tense to say the least.

Easter came at a good time for all of us.

It was a reminder of trials and tribulations we all face, and it was a good reminder of all we have to be thankful for in spite of our situation.

I watched Andrea Bocelli perform Amazing Grace in Milan, and it was just another confirmation that the mercy of God can save us from despair.

Our family watched Renovation Church’s Easter message yesterday morning and it just brought everything to fruition. We were reminded of these things:

The Lord gives us peace and hope, and Jesus is greater than bad news whether it came in the past, comes today or tomorrow. We are God’s masterpiece, and He has a purpose over our life to do good things.

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:8-10

I know some of us are stronger believers than others, and we all waver in our commitments at times, but I promise you without hope I don’t know where I would be.

It has been the one consistent thing in my life that has kept me moving forward. Some days I find myself struggling, doubting and drifting back into the darkness, but there is light. We just have to look for it.

Today, I went back through my journal and read some of the entries that I had written back in the fall. Some were filled with gloom and hopelessness. I know this is a vicious cycle that replays itself every so often, but I was thinking to myself…Not today Satan.

I have been in that tragic state once too often lately, and today, I am feeling hopeful. I don’t want to be there right now. I don’t want to feel bad, or depressed, or worried. I don’t want to deal with chaos or opinions or rants. I don’t want to be reminded of the bad news.

It takes so much out of me and it’s exhausting. I just want it to stop. Just for a day, a minute. We have a trip to the Cancer Center this week, and that brings enough anxiety on its own. Today, I need to be strong and positive and full of renewed hope. I don’t have the energy for anything else.

We don’t need to listen to the news, or let social media consume us, or even think about the days to come. The bad, the darkness will exhaust us if we let it.

Today, we simply need to enjoy the sunshine, think positive thoughts and focus on all the good in our lives. It is right in front of us. Find hope, find peace…the Joy comes with it. xo

Posted in Self Help

Morning Peace

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

I’m not really a morning person, but I love early mornings when the world is just waking up and there is peace and quiet. The trees sway in the morning air, the birds sing and there is solitude. The house is silent and my mind is calm.

These are the moments I can relax in this soundless hour with only a distant chirping in the outside daybreak. The bluebirds exit their house for their morning mealtime and the squirrels hang from the bird feeder in a desperate attempt to snatch what they can before they fall.

Nature is so innocent and serene. The exact opposite of the realm I live in.

An angry world with chaos and uncertainty. It is spreading like wildfire. The fear, the despair, the ambiguity. Spiraling out of control without a safety net.

We are all in some of this together, yet it is far from our domain. Is my morning peacefulness just a facade?

Outside of it lies a place of precariousness I cannot comprehend. It is a space I do not want to occupy, one I cannot allow myself to inhabit at the moment.

It is all too much, and I find myself only able to battle with one attack at a time. The thought of any more than that engulfs my mind with anxiety and frustration, sending me to the edge.

Ultimately, my morning peace is taken over by movement and reality sets in. Another day with the same personal battle, but hopeful the waking hour has brought a refreshed start with it.

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, with the Lord by my side. It is the only way to approach and fight this beast.

This unstoppable beast that has stolen so much of my tranquil mindfulness and so much more.

Eventually, I know the obstacles will bring darkness and surround me. My faith, my prayers, the Lord is my only salvation.

I pray the darkness will not overcome me, and the Lord will grant me a peaceful asylum.

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.“

2 Thessalonians 3:16
Posted in Devotional, Self Help

Forgiveness

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits
Did you know purple hyacinths are an emblem of forgiveness?

Do you think about forgiveness?

Lately, I have been thinking about it constantly.

I feel like when you’re going through life changing hurdles it makes your mind think about those kinds of things.

There’s so many situations in my life right now I wish I could change even though it’s obvious most of them I cannot. I decided life’s too short not to make some alterations if I can. Often, we get so wrapped up in the pain that someone or their actions caused us, we don’t think about what we are letting it do to ourselves.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Luke 6:37

We may not be able to change the action or situation, but we can change how we react to it. Life is hard whether we want to say it out loud or not.

It’s not fair. It’s not equal. It’s not promised. Don’t count on it being easy.

I told my daughter last week I wanted her to find forgiveness. I wasn’t suggesting she do it for the person that hurt her, but rather for herself. It broke my heart to see her hurting because of something she can’t control so I reminded her that God would want her to show forgiveness.

I didn’t want to tell her how she should feel, but I wanted her to think about it.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

There have been many situations in my life I can’t change, ones that affected me so deeply I’ve had a hard time of letting go. I can’t help the way I feel, and I realized there are many feelings I can’t stop. But, I can forgive.

And, forgiving is letting go.

Too often, I think we struggle with forgiveness because we don’t want to let someone off the hook so easily. We don’t want them to believe what they did is OK or they can get away with it. We want them to feel our pain, show some remorse or have some sort of empathy towards us. We may want them to suffer dire consequences so they don’t do it again. We may want them to just realize how it feels.

In reality, maybe we are the ones who need to realize forgiving someone is not letting them off the hook but rather setting ourselves free from the situation. If we carrry it around and hold on too tightly it will only continue to control our feelings.

Showing forgiveness and letting go doesn’t make a wrong right. It doesn’t show trust or worthiness to anyone but yourself. It shows you have enough self respect and care for yourself and God. No where does it say to forgive and forget. Forgive and be wary but do not hate.

Sometimes people just continue to hurt you, and there’s no explanation why or it’s something much deeper. Sometimes it’s not about you at all. Sometimes it’s just who they are with no explanation.

I’m the person who analyzes everything. I always want to figure out the why, but in reality I can’t invariably know why.

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Mark 11:25

If someone hurts you, take care of yourself first, then help others with what you have left. Forgive them, but do it for yourself. You’re not admitting you were in the wrong, you’re just choosing to let it not control you anymore.

In this life the only person we are responsible for at the end of our time on Earth is ourselves. We can help others, we can guide them, mentor them and support them, but we can’t save them. The only actions you are going to answer for is your own.

Choose peace and choose salvation. Be kind and be the bigger person. Your mental health deserves it. And, at the end of the day that’s all you can do.