With so much uncertainty in the world do you ever just find yourself searching urgently for the answers?
I find it especially difficult these days to not let my mind veer off course, end up in a frantic tailspin, swirling out of control. It’s difficult not to prowl around searching for urgent answers to impossible questions. Questions I realize only a higher power could possibily answer, but yet, ones I am convinced I have a right to know.
Then on the flip side, there are the urgent, dreadful answers, once revealed, my heart cannot completely recover from no matter what I do.
It’s hard to be unseen or unheard.
It’s even harder to decipher what answers we really want. Or, the ones we really need.
Or, maybe a self-destructive soul who seeks out the truth to questions sometimes better off left unanswered. One with no compassion for the human heart.
Until it’s too late.
Shattered in a million pieces with answers I so urgently searched for in spite of knowing some things are better off left undisclosed.
Why did I imagine my fears were fooling me?
The story of a life. An inquiring mind that wishes a moment too late, I wouldn’t have asked the question, wouldn’t have read the test results, wouldn’t have put two and two together, wouldn’t have said no sugar coating.
That dire truth I feel in my gut, unknowingly eluding me with an imagination of silence and uncertainty. In my head, fear of the uncharted and darkness is much worse than the urgent answer I seek. That is until it’s delivered.
That’s me in a broken, cracked, and irreparable nutshell.
And, like anything broken…it hurts like heck.
Wanting to see into the future, wanting to be a realist, wanting to know the unknowns.
Patience is strength. And, I am learning this life requires both.
Sometimes, it is better to just live in the moment and relish it. What we don’t know can’t hurt us. Our paths are already planned.
In the end, the answers don’t change the path. Accept it and have faith love conquers all.
Five healthy habits to live in the moment:
If you find yourself with too much time on your hands, searching for answers, thinking too much or just worrying and wondering too often, find a hobby, consider a part time job or volunteer your time to a needy cause. Staying busy and creating distractions can be the best medicine when we are stressed and anxiety ridden. Find something to occupy your mind and fill the time. Don’t let your thoughts drive your mind down the wrong road.
write down your thoughts
Some days I find myself just wanting to be alone, not having to talk to anyone. On these days particularly, I know I do some of my best writing. It gives me a chance to write down what’s on my mind and work through it on my own. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do, how to think or feel, or giving me advice. I just have myself to listen to and work through my thoughts. Most often it’s the best feeling in the world because I got through the moment by myself. It gives me a sense of self satisfaction and control. At a time when we may feel we have no control over anything, I consider this a win.
enjoy one day at a time
This is a hard one for me. It’s easy to think we can simply just think about today, but when our thoughts escalate it can be a domino effect. One thought leads to another and before we know it, we are trying to analyze every possible move or scenario to predict the future.
When the mind starts reeling, take a step back, focus on the present and force yourself to stop the thought process. Bring your thoughts back to the present, take a few deep breaths and allow your thoughts to concentrate on the current moment.
find someone to talk to
Phone a friend, find a counselor, join a support group or just find anyone who will listen or can relate. The pandemic has socially challenged all of us, but having coffee with a friend, talking on the phone, facetiming or seeking therapy is a way to talk through any struggles and calm your anxiety regarding the uncertainty of tomorrow, no matter what that looks like for you.
refocus your mind
At night, when I’m ready to fall asleep, I try to listen to a meditation that redirects my thoughts to relaxation and unwinding. It helps focus my mind on my breathing, relaxing my body and training my brain to just let my thoughts wander in and out. It’s amazing how much more relaxed and less tense I become in just 10 minutes of this self reflection.
For many of us, I think we can agree nighttime is the worst for our minds to spiral out of control with thoughts of worry and what ifs. For me personally, I have realized if I can settle my mind before I try to fall asleep, I have a better chance of getting a good night’s sleep.
Above all else, cut yourself some slack, take a break, pray and give it to God. There is contentment to be found somewhere in our future.
Don’t seek urgent answers. Seek PEACE. Seek JOY!