Tag: trust

Posted in Self Help

Unseen Signs

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever feel like you were just sent a sign?

Something was revealed to you. You read a story, a quote or a message.

Ever feel like you discovered something and it just clicked in your head and resonated with everything you’ve been questioning in your mind?

Me, too.

I often feel my life is a BIG puzzle, and I am just scrambling around trying to find all the missing pieces. And, sometimes there’s a piece that looks exact but doesn’t fit quite right.

Sometimes I find myself staring, searching then realizing it’s all right there in front of me. I just didn’t see it.

And, I realize maybe, it wasn’t time.

I feel I have spent much of the last two and a half years being scared, worrying, grieving. After my son’s accident last fall I began this regression. I spent all my time worrying, stressing and taking care of my son and husband. I was stuck in this fear mode that began to consume me.

I found my heart battling with my brain, one bringing me down and the other fighting to keep me afloat. At the time I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what was happening, but the signs, the pieces…they were there.

Thanksgiving brought my three older children home from college and back to the nest. For the next two months I spent the most time with my youngest daughter. Almost daily, day after day, was filled with moments with her.

I’m not certain what happened during those days, but I do know my children comfort my soul. They enliven me, they motivate me, they encourage me, and they inspire me. They make me want to be better in so many ways. The strength I see in them makes me want to be in undiluted joy.

After two months I dreaded the day she left, but what I don’t think she realized was what she gave me while she was here.

So many signs. So much resilience. So much peace.

I have sought strength daily and prayed for my children, because I didn’t know what else to do. At the same time, I have struggled, stumbled and grasped for something to hold onto, and I have fought for some kind of control within myself.

It has been like treading water, and I tired a long time ago. I kept fighting when there wasn’t a fight left. I believe in times of despair it is hard to see the signs, hard to find the pieces, hard to accept what is right in front of us.

Hard to trust what we cannot see.

But, never give up. It will present itself.

How does it happen?

For me, I got to the point of exhaustion. It’s a long, confusing and mentally draining road to take. My faith was the only place I could find strength, the only being who could get me through the darkness, the only power that could calm my heart. In the midst of my unknown, I was lost. I wasn’t strong enough by myself. I simply had to believe in what I could not see.

Trust

When we are struggling with things out of our control, struggling to change, struggling to be better or do better, or struggling with chaos or despair or heartbreak, we sometimes have to trust what we cannot see. We are on a path, unknowing to where it leads. Trust the journey.

Peace

Make peace in your heart. Take time out to rest and quiet the noise. In the silence, a higher power will speak to you and calm your soul. Simply finding some sort of peace, taking time out, quieting all the chaos and finding that solitude does the soul good.

Patience

Don’t lose patience. Have patience with yourself and in your faith. Things do not always come to us simply when we want them. We are not always on our own time. Simply, our path is set. Our journey will reveal itself to us when it is meant to happen. Be patient and have faith. Love yourself and give yourself the time you need.

hope

Never lose hope. Hope is all we have at times, and it has more power than we will ever know. Hope has saved souls, been the guiding light, and restored peace. Hope is a feeling of trust. Never lose it.

Posted in Devotional

Action Required

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Do you ever feel like the world is crumbling around you, and you need to take action?

I swear I look around and wonder what’s happening to us. I’ve been trying to stay off social media, but last night I just blew it up. I don’t know what came over me…other than I’m sick and tired of everything.

Stressed.

Depressed.

Overwhelmed.

Consumed with the chaos.

I keep telling myself to just step back away from it all. It’s better to be out of the loop.

In some cases, yes.

I don’t know what’s going on in the world half the time, and the other half I know more than I care to know. Some days I think I can’t keep up with the local news if I don’t scroll Facebook. It’s like an addiction. I know it’s bad for me, and I’m going to come away with a headache, but I get sucked in by everyone else doing it.

I hate that so much.

I’m out of my routine, and that’s a bad thing. It leaves too much space for my mind to wander. Too much free time, wasted.

I love summer with the kids, but as soon as this crazy virus hit it sent my self-discipline out the window. And, my routine with it.

This may sound crazy, but it seems to me everything is a distraction from what really matters. I cannot focus enough to write my blog, stay mentally healthy or have a normal schedule. Before this hit I felt tuned in to everything that was good and positive.

I was on track, on the right road. Healthy. Not faking it.

Now, I just feel disoriented.

Lost in the chaos and looking for some sort of order. I need structure back in my life. I’m hoping to find that in the coming weeks as the kids settle back into school, and I attempt to settle back into my own focus of staying positive and healthy.

I was thinking the other day…the devil is at work. Tearing me away, putting doubt in my mind.

I’m not proud to admit I falter in my faith. I have good intentions, but I seem to stumble lately. I stumble a lot. I search for my sanity…getting back on track, and then it’s like I hit a road block and every intention flies out the window.

I’m flustered, but I’m also determined to get my mind right. After all, half the battle is our mindset.

Right?

Today, it’s the beginning of a new day.

Some action is required!

Just as Peter used his fear to put his faith in God, we too, should remember to use each opportunity as a stepping stone to become closer to Him. We just have to make a conscious effort to do it and trust in the Lord.

28 And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29 He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God’.” 

Matthew 14:28-33

We cannot lose hope. Ever.

Everything in my life revolves around my family, my children, and hubby’s cancer. It’s sad in a sense of what drives me, but on the other hand it gives me the opportunity to strengthen my faith that God’s plan is already laid out, and He will take action to lead us on our journey. When I remind myself of that, I do what I’m suppose to do.

Trust rather than worry.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:34

Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but in the end I believe in my soul there is a reasoning for it all. All the time I spend worrying about situations I cannot control takes away from living my life to the fullest. I cannot cure the virus or calm the fears, nor can I stop the cancer.

Faith calms my heart in times of anxiousness and fear and eases my mind. It provides the peace I need, the strength to get through the tough days, and the hope I cannot live without.

It is simply our action to believe that’s required. And, in a world where we are living with only the essentials, faith is a prerequisite. xo

Posted in Devotional

Fear or Faith?

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

John 1:1-5

I have always been a christian, just at times a better one than others. We have all faltered in our life in one area or another, right?

I will spare everyone my lifetime of church and worshiping; however, in my younger days church and God was a big part of my life. Then later, there was a time I was very angry at God. I was angy at several things, several people. I guess for awhile I didn’t realize how angry.

In the last several years, my life, like many moms, has transformed into something I hadn’t prepared for early on. My children were growing up. I had wanted to go back to work, fulfill my ambitions, and put some accomplishments under my own belt. I found myself wondering why I hadn’t started already. Why I didn’t go back to school and get another degree? I had talked about several avenues, but I hadn’t started down any of the paths.

But, maybe I didn’t because it wasn’t the time. I know that now.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:  a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,  a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

Ecclesiastes 3:1-5

After my husband was diagnosed with cancer I struggled for awhile. The anger, the uncertainty, my children, our family, my plans. It was all too much to digest and think about.

For a long time it took great effort to get off the couch everyday. My world was just a very unfamiliar, dark and lonely place I didn’t want to be in. I worried about everything, stressed over anything, and was so unsettled about all things. It was overwhelming, affected my health in a number of ways, and made me a mental mess. My heart was broken, suffering for my children, and honestly it still is.

But, if I have realized anything about this pain stricken journey it is one thing…you can never lose hope. When tragedy strikes you have to have something to hold on to.

I have faced an abundance of fear, most often without a say, but I have learned over time to do it with grace, love and a great deal of prayer. With the help of a few supportive people who have become so close to my heart, I have learned I cannot get through these obstacles without God.

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Trust those who love and support you and trust in the Lord. It is all we can hope for, and without it we will live with a fear that will adversely affect how we live our lives.

I have heard so often, in many situations lately, that we cannot have both fear and faith. It is the truth! We must choose one. Either we trust in the Lord and choose faith, or we worry and have fear in everything.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

When I stopped being mad at God I found my faith again. My mind was less confused, my heart was less burdened, and my overall health started to improve. I stopped worrying so much, I didn’t stress as often, and I found myself at peace more often than not.

Fear brings worry and stress and pain and uncertainty in everything happening in our lives. It steals our joy, robs us of our peace and makes us question everything by living in an apprehensive state. Fear is a denial that God will take care of everything.

Faith is a gift from God. If we trust in Him, study His word and use it in prayer, our faith will grow. It’s not an achievement or something we find in ourselves, but rather something we are gifted when we put our belief in the Lord.

The only thing we should fear in our life is God Himself.

Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.

Proverbs 14:26

Just as we grow in trust in our relationships with our fellow man, we must also grow in our relationship with God. The more we pray, the more we use scripture in our prayers, and the more we trust the closer we become to Him. Fear comes from the trials we face, but trusting in God during these times makes our faith stronger and in turn makes us closer to Him.

The devil may chase you, he may knock on your door, he may challenge you, but use God’s word and trust in Him to help you defeat the evil that surrounds you.

I pray for strength every day. I read my devotions and I read scripture. Throughout my journey I know God has saved me. My life is better because I have trusted in Him, and I have handed over the reins to the problems I cannot control. It’s a daily chore for me, and I sometimes waver.

Often, I lose sight of my surroundings and begin a fall into a downward sprial I struggle to get out of. It happens more often than I want to admit. I lose my bearings on what my heart has taught me, and I question my own thinking. It is a battle within my own self. Paranoia sets in, I fight for my self worth, and I question who to trust.

Lately, I have been struggling and feeling like every step I take presents another stumbling block. It’s overwhelming, and I feel the darkness surrounding me. These are the times I normally pray for strength, but lately I grapple with getting in the right mindset.

But, it is an unnecessary wrestling within my mind, a rhetorical question.

Fear or Faith?

I read a devotion today that spoke to me in such a way that I knew the Lord was addressing me. With so many uncertainties in my life at the moment, I relish the moments this happens to me and I especially take note of the circumstances.

I felt God’s light shining on me. The Prince of Peace was speaking to me, and I know it is a serious moment when I have these strong feelings. It is a time I have reason to worry, but yet a time I know I need to hand it over, trust and let Him lead me.

For all of those who struggle with your beliefs, waver in your thoughts about God and the spiritual world I would like you think about this. My life consists of living in the midst of storm after storm. The darkest storms that are so strong I cannot survive them alone.

I am not speaking of “alone” as in a physical state, but rather a lonely darkness that I live with while surrounded by many people. Do not confuse it with something you necessarily know. It is a loneliness you can never imagine unless you have actually lived in it.

For me, there is only one path to take in order to survive and that is not with fear. Fear would consume me just as a tornado consumes everything in its path. Hope and prayer and faith are the only solutions to help me escape.

I will always choose faith. I may fall and I may falter, but the light of God will shine down on me and guide me into the way of peace. xo

Because of and through the heart of tender and mercy and loving-kindness of our God, a Light from on high will dawn upon us and visit [us] to shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace.”

Luke 1:78-79
Posted in Self Help

Confessions

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

I have a confession to make.

Well, one I will share.

This past weekend I read my recent blog post about Forgiveness over and over.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to forget everything I had stored at the very back of my mind. I wanted to erase some of the past from my memory, and I wanted to go back to feeling the way I’ve been feeling lately.

Confident. Happy. At peace.

But, I felt none of that.

You see cancer is always a portion of my worry, and my heart well, that’s another story. Lately, so many bad memories have been rehashed all over again. Hurdles I encountered long ago, and now another one.

It’s hard to trust again when your heart has been broken, and it’s even harder to forgive yourself when you let it happen. Of course, it’s perplexing when there’s a slew of circumstances that are intertwined and mangled, creating a host of emotions.

No matter how many times you choose to forgive someone, there’s always that moment when you question what you’re doing and if they are worthy of it once again.

That is a question you need to discuss with God, because I’m not sure I have the answer for anyone’s situation. Even my own. Although, I did ask a friend once how many chances does someone get, and they said you do it until you can’t do it anymore. I assume that’s the same as God, who wants us to never give up.

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21-22

Just because we don’t stop forgiving doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop letting someone hurt us. At some point in life we have to take our well being into our own hands, whether it be our physical well being or our mental self, and ask God for help.

Forgiving is the easy part. It’s forgetting that’s hard.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Psalm 34:17-20

I confess it over and over, I have a hard time forgetting. I have to fight with everything I’ve got not to let the devil take ahold of me and take me down that sinful alley road. It’s like your mind can forgive, and forget…for awhile. Push it into the back of your brain, bury it, conceal it and lock it away.

In reality, it’s still there unless we let it go. It’s somewhat like a helium balloon, watching it float away, out of sight until it’s lost forever. We never look back, never give it another thought.

It’s not that I can’t forgive, it’s my heart won’t let me forget.

Is it even possible?

Are we actually capable of forgetting?

I admire people I know who are self disciplined always radiating willpower. It takes a strong mind and an unwaivering trust in God. Attractive traits I’m in love with, nonetheless.

However, in my life I’m still a work in progress.

The heart, the mind, the soul are all connected and sometimes, despite our frantic attempts in search of a cause, there is not a reason. There’s no answer to our “Why?”.

Why we can’t forget, or why we have to forgive someone over and over is a question that sometimes doesn’t have an answer.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I think we have such a hard time because we need a motive and it’s difficult to accept maybe there’s not one. Maybe it’s just part of a bigger plan, and we have to wait for it to play out. Sometimes circumstances don’t make sense in the beginning, but they eventually come full circle.

I think rather than focusing on forgetting we need to focus on letting it go, just like that balloon. Why do we want to hold onto the bad memories? In doing so, we are only hurting ourselves more, filling our heart with pain and resentment.

It’s hard to know what someone’s heart holds. That is for God’s eyes only. They are the only ones who has to answer for their sins. The only move we can make is to trust or to be wary. It’s our choice. How you guard your heart is up to you. God wants us to forgive, not hate, but he doesn’t say forgive and forget or forgive and trust again.

Now, we come full circle with the question how many chances does someone get?

I look at my situation and think that’s irrelevant. It may not change my heart, but it may change the answer. It teaches a valuable lesson. Whatever you choose make it a choice you can always live with. Sometimes there are no second chances.

Hold onto what’s precious and let everything else go. Somewhere in all of that is where you will find your answer.