Tag: hope

Posted in Self Help

Unseen Signs

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever feel like you were just sent a sign?

Something was revealed to you. You read a story, a quote or a message.

Ever feel like you discovered something and it just clicked in your head and resonated with everything you’ve been questioning in your mind?

Me, too.

I often feel my life is a BIG puzzle, and I am just scrambling around trying to find all the missing pieces. And, sometimes there’s a piece that looks exact but doesn’t fit quite right.

Sometimes I find myself staring, searching then realizing it’s all right there in front of me. I just didn’t see it.

And, I realize maybe, it wasn’t time.

I feel I have spent much of the last two and a half years being scared, worrying, grieving. After my son’s accident last fall I began this regression. I spent all my time worrying, stressing and taking care of my son and husband. I was stuck in this fear mode that began to consume me.

I found my heart battling with my brain, one bringing me down and the other fighting to keep me afloat. At the time I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what was happening, but the signs, the pieces…they were there.

Thanksgiving brought my three older children home from college and back to the nest. For the next two months I spent the most time with my youngest daughter. Almost daily, day after day, was filled with moments with her.

I’m not certain what happened during those days, but I do know my children comfort my soul. They enliven me, they motivate me, they encourage me, and they inspire me. They make me want to be better in so many ways. The strength I see in them makes me want to be in undiluted joy.

After two months I dreaded the day she left, but what I don’t think she realized was what she gave me while she was here.

So many signs. So much resilience. So much peace.

I have sought strength daily and prayed for my children, because I didn’t know what else to do. At the same time, I have struggled, stumbled and grasped for something to hold onto, and I have fought for some kind of control within myself.

It has been like treading water, and I tired a long time ago. I kept fighting when there wasn’t a fight left. I believe in times of despair it is hard to see the signs, hard to find the pieces, hard to accept what is right in front of us.

Hard to trust what we cannot see.

But, never give up. It will present itself.

How does it happen?

For me, I got to the point of exhaustion. It’s a long, confusing and mentally draining road to take. My faith was the only place I could find strength, the only being who could get me through the darkness, the only power that could calm my heart. In the midst of my unknown, I was lost. I wasn’t strong enough by myself. I simply had to believe in what I could not see.

Trust

When we are struggling with things out of our control, struggling to change, struggling to be better or do better, or struggling with chaos or despair or heartbreak, we sometimes have to trust what we cannot see. We are on a path, unknowing to where it leads. Trust the journey.

Peace

Make peace in your heart. Take time out to rest and quiet the noise. In the silence, a higher power will speak to you and calm your soul. Simply finding some sort of peace, taking time out, quieting all the chaos and finding that solitude does the soul good.

Patience

Don’t lose patience. Have patience with yourself and in your faith. Things do not always come to us simply when we want them. We are not always on our own time. Simply, our path is set. Our journey will reveal itself to us when it is meant to happen. Be patient and have faith. Love yourself and give yourself the time you need.

hope

Never lose hope. Hope is all we have at times, and it has more power than we will ever know. Hope has saved souls, been the guiding light, and restored peace. Hope is a feeling of trust. Never lose it.

Posted in Self Help

Pass it on…

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Is it really almost September?

I look back and think the last eight months have been pretty much a blur. Kids had an extended break from school, were back and forth from college, and at times cancer even took a back seat in my mind thanks to a much needed break from dealing with it.

So many people have said they just want this year to be over with, but I tend to not lean in that direction thinking it could be precious time I’m giving up. None of us are promised tomorrow, so what if that meant we were wishing our last days away?

I imagine that’s not something any of us are ready to think about.

I’ll be the first to admit I want life to be more like it used to be, back to normal (whatever that is), and a little less stressed and uncertain. But, like I’ve said before, cancer took all that away from our family long before this virus did.

Cancer has taught me a lot, and this virus is teaching me even more.

I’m tired of wearing a mask, tired of social distancing, tired of not being able to get out as much. However, I’m not tired of being with my family, having the kids at home more often, or focusing on being together more than being on the go. I’m sure part of me will look back on this year and find there’s much about it to love.

Time is something we cannot get back, and our kids will never be as young as they were this summer. They aren’t getting younger, and our time with them is precious.

I hope people haven’t forgotten to stop and smell the roses. Too busy arguing or debating or disagreeing about whether or not the pandemic is valid. Not enough time looking for a silver lining.

We are all dealing with something.

If you believe in fate, or everything happens for a reason, or the way it’s suppose to happen, then maybe, just maybe all this is part of a bigger picture. Maybe this is a wake up call for us to get it together.

Maybe we should just be nice or build each other up or throw out a compliment here and there and maybe, just maybe, respect other opinions even if they aren’t our own. Maybe we should be thinking of this “break” from life as something that is much needed.

I know I will never regret the extra days, extra moments, extra memories my children got to share with their dad this summer. In the back of my mind, I know it is golden.

I do realize enough is enough though.

Summer is coming to an end. Kids are attempting to get back to class.

Our mental health is at stake in many cases. More often than not life is a challenge, and it takes a conscious effort to stay positive and upbeat.

We cannot let what is happening in our society divide us or keep us down. We can’t afford that.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

I know depression and anxiety are mounding, people are struggling, and no one can take much more. People are grappling with this restricted way of life. They don’t get up, get dressed, put on makeup. They don’t leave the house, or get out, or have much social interaction. They’ve let themselves go.

Physically and mentally.

And, that’s not a good thing.

I made a new friend on social media last week, because I felt the need to help someone who needed some encouragement. It reminded me of the chaos my life has been in for the last two years, the times I felt I wasn’t strong enough to deal with it, and it also reminded me of how much better I am because of it. So, I decided I needed to pass that on.

It’s not an everyday thing we wake up with. Strength that is. I pray for it all the time, sometimes multiple times in a day.

Especially in a world where there is so much commotion, we have to learn to quiet the noise in our head. It is our hope. And, I don’t want anyone to lose hope.

Ever!

If you’re going through hell keep going.

Winston Churchill

If you ever feel yourself losing hope, losing your positive edge, keep going. Some days hope is all we have, and we can never lose sight of it.

We are better than that.

We are strong, beautiful souls.

So I say, lift each other up. Give a compliment a day, say hello to a stranger at the grocery, smile, check on a friend. It simply takes a minute to say a kind word, to brighten someone’s day, give them a boost, to pray for them. Pass on your positivity.

And, we just may be the one person who brightens someone’s day, who makes a person realize how valuable they are, or gives a ray of hope to someone who has lost it.

Positive thoughts. Positive vibes.

They can be contagious. Pass them on.

In a couple of weeks I may be a hot mess, but today, I know I am strong and focused and in the right mindset.

Today, that’s all I need to think about.

One day at a time. Pass it on.

I know where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. And, I know where I want to go. I may not always know how to get there, but the Lord is leading me on my path, and I know I can trust the journey.

Today, it’s a good day. Pass it on…

Posted in Self Help

Disconnect to Connect

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Know what it means to Disconnect to Connect?

I read that yesterday at the end of a mentally tough day, and it dawned on me I knew exactly what it meant. Well, what I think it means for me.

In a world where so many people are struggling I feel the urge to pick up and run.

Just. Run.

Not away or any place in particular. Just run. The only stumbling block would be getting away from my own mind.

I can close my eyes and see myself. There’s nothing in front of me. Nothing within my peripheral vision.

In the rear, I sense there is something hoovering over me. All around me is a lightly wooded area headed into nowhere. It’s cloudy and gray, surrounded by nature. There’s simply nothing in sight.

What does all that mean?

I really have no sense of curiosity because in my muddled sanity I know it’s nothing good. I want to say there’s a sense of hopelessness, but I don’t dare think that way.

There is always HOPE. I won’t forget that even on my darkest days. Survival depends on HOPE.

Always.

Another person lost a loved one to cancer, another person cried for help, and so many I know are mourning a life we lost months ago, within a matter of days. In a split second it seems our mere existence flashed in front of us, and we are living in a divergent world.

Life can be such a desolate spot at times, but I remind myself life is harsh. We need to remind ourselves of that daily, especially in these times. Everyone around us is struggling.

Everywhere there is a sense of unknown.

We spend our entire childhood wanting to grow up, thinking at that point we can do what we want, we will be happy, and life will go along perfectly as planned.

We start to live as if life owes us. We have such unrealistic expectations of what living is, what defines success, what brings us happiness, and what our whole existence is made up of that we cannot decipher what’s real and what’s not.

Or maybe it’s not until we have all those things and realize somethig is still missing.

Maybe we just don’t know how to measure life?

Or maybe we all need to Disconnect from what we expect life to be and Connect to what life actually is.

It’s hard.

An uphill battle.

Full of hardships, tears, tragedy, and heartache. Overflowing with challenges, hard choices, and disappointment. If we stop having such high expectations and focusing on “things,” it’s possible we could actually appreciate the little treasures life has to offer.

They are there. We just have to look for them and stop imagining a life filled with fireworks and bliss.

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Appreciate moments, not things, because you can never go back in time.

I have caught myself a few times this week wishing I could go back. Go back to the way life used to be, when it seemed much simpler, my children were small, and we laughed more than we cried. Living in the past is a hard way to live though, and it hinders our ability to grow and learn and adapt.

Sometimes we just have to disconnect from the idea of what we thought our lives should look like, and connect to the reality of what it really is. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a bend in the road. Adjust, and keep moving forward.

Posted in Family

Happy Mother’s Day, With Love

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

I have loved being a mother since the day I set eyes on my baby girl 22 years ago. Yes, it is hard to believe I myself have been a mother 22 years, and the fact I am old enough to have children even older than that is astounding to me. Nonetheless, I am.

Having four children has, hands down, given me the biggest accomplishments, while at the same time giving me the most difficult job, the most heart warming moments, the most joy, the most anxiety, the most heart break, the most laughs and the most tears.

Motherhood has offered the best times of my life, as well as some not so easy times. It has been a journey filled with love, learning, self awareness, acceptance, defeat, sadness, joy, maturity, realizations and lessons.

I would like to be able to say being a mother has been pure bliss, a happy, joyful journey with the best days of my life and nothing less. If I am truthful being a mother HAS been all of that, along with some heart breaking, some painful, and some difficult days as well.

For me, motherhood is without a doubt the best part of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I am so blessed to have four wonderful children who have made my family complete.

I would not trade any part of the journey, good or bad. The joy far outweighs the bumps in the road, and I will love them all the same until the day I die.

None of us are perfect, and we don’t live in a perfect world. Life is not always kind, but that adversity teaches us it is up to humanity to make it better and resist all the bad around us. As mothers we hate to see our children suffer, but it is our job to guide them on how to navigate the path even when it’s a difficult road.

I have always taught my children to be kind to others, don’t judge a book by its cover, or treat others harshly just because your peers may. We never know how people are living and it doesn’t hurt to just be nice to everyone. And, if people don’t bring happiness to your life than distance yourself from them.

I was so proud the other day when my youngest son, who I know has heard me tell my older children exactly that a million times said he just distances himself from people who bother him. It’s the little moments like those that make me feel worthy, like I’m not treading water, and they are actually listening.

I constantly tell my older children, “You don’t have to always do what I say, but you do have to listen to what I have to say.” I call that respect. And, if my own mother (and father) taught me anything, it is to respect your elders.

Many times I feel like the way I grew up and the way my parents were raised is obsolete in today’s society. Call it old fashioned or whatever you like, but I call it essential. As someone once said, if your children don’t learn to respect their parents growing up, they will never respect anyone. There is so much truth in that statement, and I have tried to raise my kids around that exact theory.

If nothing else, no matter where life takes them, I hope they will remember and live by those standards. I am hopeful they will invariably know how much I love them, even though at times they don’t agree with what I think or have to say. I pray they will remember what I have taught them and forever love and respect me.

6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

This is the first Mother’s Day in awhile I will have all my children together, in one house. I am so thankful and excited to spend it with them.

These days I relish every moment we spend as a family celebrating holidays and special ocassions. I don’t take any moments for granted like I have in the past, that things will always be the way they are.

At times, I have forgotten how precious this life is and how quickly it can all change. I worry about my children just as much now that they are becoming young adults (if not more) as I did when they were little. It seems as they grow the worries become bigger and life gets harder for all of us.

I regret I can’t share this Mother’s Day with my own mother, who taught me how to be a wonderful cook among other things, and my aunt who is like a second mother. Both of them have shaped my life and taught me so many different qualities that established the woman I am today. I am so thankful for both of them, and I know they understand how your heart can be heavy when you worry about the burdens your adult children face.

Regardless, of where they may be, they are in my heart forever.

I wish all the mothers out there a wonderful, special day. And, especially for those mothers who are fighting cancer along side their child right now…you have extra love and prayers for many more celebrations with them. xo

13As one whom his mother comforts, So I will comfort you; And you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”

Isaiah 66:13

Posted in Devotional

Fear or Faith?

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

John 1:1-5

I have always been a christian, just at times a better one than others. We have all faltered in our life in one area or another, right?

I will spare everyone my lifetime of church and worshiping; however, in my younger days church and God was a big part of my life. Then later, there was a time I was very angry at God. I was angy at several things, several people. I guess for awhile I didn’t realize how angry.

In the last several years, my life, like many moms, has transformed into something I hadn’t prepared for early on. My children were growing up. I had wanted to go back to work, fulfill my ambitions, and put some accomplishments under my own belt. I found myself wondering why I hadn’t started already. Why I didn’t go back to school and get another degree? I had talked about several avenues, but I hadn’t started down any of the paths.

But, maybe I didn’t because it wasn’t the time. I know that now.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:  a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,  a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

Ecclesiastes 3:1-5

After my husband was diagnosed with cancer I struggled for awhile. The anger, the uncertainty, my children, our family, my plans. It was all too much to digest and think about.

For a long time it took great effort to get off the couch everyday. My world was just a very unfamiliar, dark and lonely place I didn’t want to be in. I worried about everything, stressed over anything, and was so unsettled about all things. It was overwhelming, affected my health in a number of ways, and made me a mental mess. My heart was broken, suffering for my children, and honestly it still is.

But, if I have realized anything about this pain stricken journey it is one thing…you can never lose hope. When tragedy strikes you have to have something to hold on to.

I have faced an abundance of fear, most often without a say, but I have learned over time to do it with grace, love and a great deal of prayer. With the help of a few supportive people who have become so close to my heart, I have learned I cannot get through these obstacles without God.

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Trust those who love and support you and trust in the Lord. It is all we can hope for, and without it we will live with a fear that will adversely affect how we live our lives.

I have heard so often, in many situations lately, that we cannot have both fear and faith. It is the truth! We must choose one. Either we trust in the Lord and choose faith, or we worry and have fear in everything.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

When I stopped being mad at God I found my faith again. My mind was less confused, my heart was less burdened, and my overall health started to improve. I stopped worrying so much, I didn’t stress as often, and I found myself at peace more often than not.

Fear brings worry and stress and pain and uncertainty in everything happening in our lives. It steals our joy, robs us of our peace and makes us question everything by living in an apprehensive state. Fear is a denial that God will take care of everything.

Faith is a gift from God. If we trust in Him, study His word and use it in prayer, our faith will grow. It’s not an achievement or something we find in ourselves, but rather something we are gifted when we put our belief in the Lord.

The only thing we should fear in our life is God Himself.

Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.

Proverbs 14:26

Just as we grow in trust in our relationships with our fellow man, we must also grow in our relationship with God. The more we pray, the more we use scripture in our prayers, and the more we trust the closer we become to Him. Fear comes from the trials we face, but trusting in God during these times makes our faith stronger and in turn makes us closer to Him.

The devil may chase you, he may knock on your door, he may challenge you, but use God’s word and trust in Him to help you defeat the evil that surrounds you.

I pray for strength every day. I read my devotions and I read scripture. Throughout my journey I know God has saved me. My life is better because I have trusted in Him, and I have handed over the reins to the problems I cannot control. It’s a daily chore for me, and I sometimes waver.

Often, I lose sight of my surroundings and begin a fall into a downward sprial I struggle to get out of. It happens more often than I want to admit. I lose my bearings on what my heart has taught me, and I question my own thinking. It is a battle within my own self. Paranoia sets in, I fight for my self worth, and I question who to trust.

Lately, I have been struggling and feeling like every step I take presents another stumbling block. It’s overwhelming, and I feel the darkness surrounding me. These are the times I normally pray for strength, but lately I grapple with getting in the right mindset.

But, it is an unnecessary wrestling within my mind, a rhetorical question.

Fear or Faith?

I read a devotion today that spoke to me in such a way that I knew the Lord was addressing me. With so many uncertainties in my life at the moment, I relish the moments this happens to me and I especially take note of the circumstances.

I felt God’s light shining on me. The Prince of Peace was speaking to me, and I know it is a serious moment when I have these strong feelings. It is a time I have reason to worry, but yet a time I know I need to hand it over, trust and let Him lead me.

For all of those who struggle with your beliefs, waver in your thoughts about God and the spiritual world I would like you think about this. My life consists of living in the midst of storm after storm. The darkest storms that are so strong I cannot survive them alone.

I am not speaking of “alone” as in a physical state, but rather a lonely darkness that I live with while surrounded by many people. Do not confuse it with something you necessarily know. It is a loneliness you can never imagine unless you have actually lived in it.

For me, there is only one path to take in order to survive and that is not with fear. Fear would consume me just as a tornado consumes everything in its path. Hope and prayer and faith are the only solutions to help me escape.

I will always choose faith. I may fall and I may falter, but the light of God will shine down on me and guide me into the way of peace. xo

Because of and through the heart of tender and mercy and loving-kindness of our God, a Light from on high will dawn upon us and visit [us] to shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace.”

Luke 1:78-79
Posted in Self Help

Precious, Purposeful Life

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

One foot in front of the other. Keep moving.

I’ve been telling myself that all week. My mind drifts off to what’s going on around me, and it’s like I start to stall.

Ever feel that way?

You’re surviving. Staying focused. Staying positive and then your mind starts to wander to that dark, desolate place and you find yourself in quicksand. You can’t lift your foot to move forward and you start to sink to that low.

Don’t let it happen.

You are in control of your thoughts. Don’t ever give that up.

I’ve told myself that a few times this week. Let your mind think about it for a second and then get yourself together and move forward. No matter how hard it is, stay positive and keep moving.

If I let myself get too far gone, then it’s even harder to come back from the hole I’ve let myself fall into. If you hit a low, don’t let it suck you in. It’s difficult, but don’t let the devil have ahold of you and draw you back to that place you have fought so hard to escape.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

On days I’m struggling to stay positive and all I want to do is cry, it takes an extra effort to stay positive. But, those days the demons are lurking in the darkness just waiting to help you sink yourself a little lower.

Yesterday was kind of a tough day mentally. Some bad memories resurfaced, some hurtful moments got revisited and it put me in a vulnerable frame of mind. I didn’t sleep well last night. And, I started thinking about all the unknowns in my life. Worrying about what I can’t control and needing some strength and guidance.

The weeks ahead are weighing me down. I know I need to get my feet planted firmly and my mind in the right place. Today is a day I need to start out on a good note. Days that start out poorly do not tend to go well for me, but the days I start with prayer and trusting in the Lord help me gain my strength.

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.

2 Thessalonians 3:3

I tell my children all the time you have to have hope and faith in something. Without it you will be lost.

However, on days you are thinking about all the sickness and turmoil in the world it is hard to not get lost. In the last few months three families I know are dealing with a new cancer diagnosis.

Why does this keep happening? Why does cancer consume every thought and prayer in my brain?

Some days I feel like it is every place I turn, every way I look, the only word I hear. How can one single word take up so much space in my head?

I know what all those families are facing. The long emotional road they are about to travel. The sorrow, the heartbreak, the fear looking them in the face. It’s like a sad song that plays over and over in your head. And, it won’t stop.

Mentally it’s exhausting. Physically it wears me down to nothing, unable to function properly or have enough energy to get to tomorrow. That’s the point I can’t let myself get to…EVER. It’s a place that messes with your mind, where demons attack, and you lose yourself. It’s the darkest blackness you will ever see.

And, I promised myself I will never go back.

I have found even in those gloomy days there is light and something to be thankful for in my life. I simply have to search for it, but mostly it’s right there staring me in the face. I believe those are the times I have just lost my focus on all the good around me.

Just as the sun will rise tomorrow, there is good in every situation, in every tragedy, every loss. Even when we can’t see it, even when we view it as a struggle, there is good somewhere underneath.

Life is precious, so don’t take it for granted. We all have a purpose.

Sometimes bad things happen to a person, not to save them, but to save someone else.

Sometimes our purpose isn’t ours at all.

Maybe, we are simply the messenger. And our purpose is to save someone else.