555 Days

Something like 555 days.

You would think if you had lived in the midst of heartbreak for that long you could catch a break. What’s the saying? When it rains it pours.

As my daughter pointed out tonight, things really do happen all at once. Yes, they do Shuggy! Yes, they do.

It’s 1:35 am this morning; I have to be on the road before 7:30 am, and I’m lying in bed wide awake.

Thinking.

Worrying.

And honestly, I’ve been fighting off the devil.

At Bible study two weeks ago someone said the Devil is going to be coming at you hard after tonight, coming after your family. She wasn’t lying.

I need enough of God’s armor belonging to an army for this battle. I prayed tonight so hard and when I closed my eyes I believe I saw the demons circling in the darkness.

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The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV

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I’ve cried plenty over the last few days. For my husband, and even more so for my children. It has been a rough week for them. Rougher than anyone can imagine. Don’t ever underestimate the powers around us. When you turn your back and take a breath is the exact time someone or something is going to hit you hard from behind. Don’t let your guard down.

Today, I needed to get it out. Then, I just stopped. Suddenly, I felt as if I had been slapped in the face, taking my breath away. It hit me like what I imagine it would be like if God had just smacked me. And, maybe He did.

I was angry. I was mad. And I thought I’m under attack.

I closed my eyes to pray again. It was the most bizarre thing, but I couldn’t remember any scripture. I fumbled and squirmed, my mind was confused and struggling for what I was trying to remember. So, I just prayed for God to come to me, to help me.

We struggle. Our children struggle. Don’t let yourself be overtaken by it.

Fight!

You may feel at rock bottom, but ask God for strength. Ask, and He will listen.

My children are hurting right now. I will not give up, and I will pray for God to watch over them when they are not able to do it for themselves.

It’s what momma bears do.

If you can help someone, help them. And, you better believe my children are at the top of my list.

(Sic ’em!)