Posted in Journal, Self Help

Tired

It’s 4 am above the city, nine floors high in this tiny room, with only the tick tock from the clock on the wall, and I wait. I reference the sound to that of a time bomb, but is it merely time ticking away?

For me, maybe one in the same.

I can’t explain how I feel tonight, but I do feel time slipping away. Why does time always keep coming at me?

Time.

Is it even real?

There are always excuses for not enough time, out of time, or never having enough time. Seriously, no one has enough time because time flies.

Take the time!

I can’t say it enough

Take the time, because we can never stop it.

I have fought back tears much of the night, pushed back fears, and stopped my mind from going into dark places.

Now, there’s just an ache in the pit of my stomach. Today, unknowingly, I got on a new roller coaster, and it doesn’t stop. I’ll adjust…it’ll just take some time.

That was only two nights ago, but I’m so drained and exhausted it seems like it has to be 48 days rather than 48 hours. There are moments I feel as if I’m getting a glimpse of the road ahead. Is this God preparing me for what’s to come?

Tonight, I told my daughter in these troubled times to take care of herself. Do what makes her happy. Live a life that is comforting to her. Not to others. People don’t have a right to judge, or comment, or even have a voiced opinion. Not in this. They just don’t.

Maybe that seems selfish to some, but at the moment we are really the only ones who understand each other. It’s just the way it is.

Seeing and waiting is a hard, hard task. And, we are tired, mentally and physically.

We have some fabulous friends, some wonderful family. We love you all. Appreciate you dearly. Pray for us, that’s what you can do.