Posted in Cancer

JULY – Sarcoma Awareness Month

Do you know what sarcoma is?

When hubby was first diagnosed with cancer it was sort of a shock to hear the long technical name for what he had.

I was like what? What is that?

Then, the doctor began to explain sarcoma is a soft tissue cancer. It was hard for me to wrap my brain around it. My mind was trying to process what I was being told, but I couldn’t quite grasp that the cancer was in his soft tissue, not in his lungs, or liver, or pancreas or something of that sort.

Soft tissue? In my mind, I was thinking, that’s everywhere!

And, literally it can be.

Sarcoma tends to be found in the extremities, but it can be found anywhere in your body. It can be hidden in your abdomen, growing to watermelon size and go unnoticed. It can be in your bones, your blood vessels, your fat cells or any soft tissue.

And, it can literally be anywhere!

For me, the thought of that is a little mind-blowing.

Sarcoma doesn’t discriminate. Not against anyone or in any place.

Young children, teenagers, and elderly people can get it.

And, when they do most of them are in a fight for their life. I am not saying there aren’t survivors of this savage beast, but I feel most would agree it is a war.

There are many factors that contribute to prognosis and another hurdle lies in the fact there are so many subtypes of this disease. Subtype, location of the tumor, and whether the cancer has spread to distant places are all factored in when it comes to treatment and the plan of attack. And, sarcoma isn’t like other carcinoma cancers in the sense that it doesn’t usually respond well to traditional treatments such as chemotherapy.

For me, hubby’s cancer diagnosis was the scariest thing I’ve ever faced. It was like my life flashed in front of me, over and over, without a pause. On one hand I couldn’t believe it was real, couldn’t decipher my feelings, or think about it without stress, worry, tears.

Two years later, I have learned to lean on HOPE, trust that I am on the path I am supposed to be on, and accept some things that I don’t want to admit are reality. I am not going to lie and say it gets easier, that I don’t struggle sometimes daily, or my mind doesn’t wander to that question of Why?

I am not going to say I don’t worry, or stress, or wonder about the future. And, for anyone who believes that’s 100 percent achievable, well, I will let you get back to me about that. If I could shut my mind off, I would. If things could be different, they would be.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Neither does cancer. It plays by its own set of rules. It may have ahold on hubby’s body, but it doesn’t have a hold on our minds. Unless, we let it.

For me, family, laughter, the ocean, and enjoying the simple things money can’t buy are about as good as it gets. Doing for my family and myself is priority. And, I’ve realized there’s not a lot of precious time for much else, especially when time may not be on your side. xo

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

To learn more about sarcoma cancer, research, or to donate click on the links below: https://gracelovebiscuits.com/sarcoma-2/ https://sarcomaalliance.org https://www.curesarcoma.org

Posted in Cancer

CANCER

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Hebrews 11:1

What’s there to say?

Everyone dreads the word when they hear it. We all want to think positive thoughts, believe we can beat it, hope we will be the one to defeat the odds. But in the end is that possible?

Really, what’s there to say?

My heart is broken. It breaks a little bit more every time I hear about someone I know having cancer, sickened with cancer, their body weakening or suffering from this horrible disease that seems to run rampant throughout our lives.

Every time I hear of another prey, another sad story, another loss it hits closer to home. It eats away at me a little bit more.

Will it ever stop?

Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

Many don’t realize cancer sets the stage. The effects of this monster wreak havoc on its victims, their families, and everyone around them. It creates complication after complication until a healthy figure is battered and wounded. Not only do they have to fight the cancer, but every complication that comes with it. Every new hurdle it creates.

Hurdle after hurdle. We fight one after another, with no end in sight.

At some point in this battle, I’m not exactly sure when, I realized this is the new way of life. It is a fight from here on out, one that we will battle no matter how tired we get. It’s like I hold my breath until the next scan, the next treatment, the next round. And, with every step there comes a new revelation.

It’s an emotional life to live.

Last night, I changed the bandage I change every night, tears filling my eyes as I know the healing is a distant reality if at all. My tears are for all..all those who suffer, all those I can relate to, and for my husband, our family.

Once cancer attacks you or your spouse or your child it is like it’s inside you. You are living with it, it’s in your house, and it is a constant reminder. It consumes every minute of your day, every thought. It steals your peace, tugs at your sanity, plays with your emotions. It hides, it attacks, it doesn’t play fair, and it has no empathy.

Cancer, you’re always on my mind. You exhaust me, drain me at times. You attempt to steal my joy, rob me of sleep, and fill me with worry. You are the devil on my back.

Maybe there is no escape, but I will not lose my faith. I will fight you until the end.

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”

Psalms 103:2-4 

I pray for strength and healing and miracles. I pray for God to spare us from this battle. I pray for the others I know who are on this path. I pray for their families and for their souls. I pray for my husband, and I pray for my children. Many nights I fall asleep in the middle of my prayers, but I will still pray.

I will pray to the very end. And then, I will pray some more. xo