When you said your wedding vows did you ever really think about the promises you were making to someone?
All these milestone anniversary celebrations I’ve been seeing on social media, along with hubby being ill and in the hospital, has me thinking about life and the responsibilities we take on.
Like me, many of you were probably young when you got married and 20 plus years later find yourselves quite a bit different than you were back then. I think we all change, mature, focus on different aspects of life, figure out what matters and what simply does not.
…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…”
Most of us said those “for better or for worse” vows and not once gave it a second thought. We never imagined that we would be anything other than happy, blissfully in love, and old and gray enjoying our grandchildren well into our 80s or even 90s. It never crossed our minds that we would go through bad times, hard times, worse times, or that one of us would have failing health and sickness.
I know on my beautiful wedding day, almost 28 years ago, the thought of dealing with “for worse” or “in sickness” didn’t enter my mind. I was marrying someone I loved, and we would live “happily ever after.” First, we would buy a house, then have kids, and it would be a perfect little life forever and ever.
That’s what I wanted to believe because every girl wants the fairy tale. Right?
But, in reality I had tucked any of those “for worse” thoughts way in the back of my mind, buried as fear that I hoped would never be truth. Problems wouldn’t plague us, we would always love each other the exact same, nothing would change, and we would stay in that fairy tale forever.
So I hoped.
Isn’t that just being young and naïve?
The thing is we really don’t know what we are in for when we take those vows. We cannot see what path life will take us down, nor the complications we will encounter. The choices we make, the chances we take, and the laws we live by will all have some sort of impact on us and our relationships.
But, when we are standing at the altar, staring in the eyes of the one we are about to say “I do” with, none of that stands in our way. We think we are prepared “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.”
But, I promise no one is ever prepared for that. Not really.
We cherish the happy times and believe the better will outweigh the worse, but in reality life is hard and “for worse” is inevitable at some point. They say all’s well that ends well, but that’s not always the case either. We just have to believe God has a plan for us, and trust our life happens the way He intends it.
Just as everyday life seems to have no normalcy for society these days, my life has been on that course for awhile. I have been learning to live in the path God has designed for us and my “for better or for worse” vows are something I remind myself of often.
We all are guilty at some point or another thinking we have it so bad, until we really do. But, the truth of the matter is someone out there always has it worse. On some days, I feel I am the friend who has it worse, but in reality I know that belongs to someone else.
In spite of all the sickness, the pain, the heartbreak, the tears, the worry, the inevitable….In spite of all of that, I am blessed and grateful for my own health, my children, my family, my memories and all the “for betters” I have in my life. There are so many happy memories, so many good times, so many blessings, so, so many. And, I am grateful for each of them.
When you are feeling down, think about your own “for betters,” your health, your riches, your love, and everything you cherish. They far outweigh anything you can imagine. Don’t lose sight of them, don’t take them for granted.
You made those promises, but you were never promised which ones life would give back. xoxo