Posted in Devotional, Self Help

Helpless

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Mark 11:24

Do you ever just feel uneasy and can’t put your finger on why?

Lately, I have felt out of sorts in a way, but I can’t figure out the exact culprit. Maybe it’s a combination of things or maybe I’m just tired and overwhelmed.

When in my life have I not felt overwhelmed? It is hard to remember.

It seems to be a recurring role that I can’t rid myself of for one reason or another. I just keep hitting snags, unable to settle back into a rhythm.

Last year at this time, I would say I was in somewhat of a downward spiral. Not one of my finest moments in life, but sadly I was in a very critical place mentally and emotionally. I was a mess to say the least, and for the next few months I continued to descend.

It felt something like when you get to the top of that climb on a monster rollercoaster and feel as if you are going to stall that second before you are full speed ahead in a downhill fall. Gravity is tugging at you so hard you can’t pull yourself up or breathe.

The sad reality of it all is no one noticed.

No one.

Not my friends, not my family, not even the real me. Not until one night, when my hubby was smacked with a sudden truth about the trouble I was in.

I took myself to the doctor, multiple times, and I prayed for strength, multiple times. And, every day, every week, every month I was slowly able to pull myself back together.

I started my blog shortly after that, started taking better care of myself physically and mentally, eating healthier, exercising more, doing things I enjoy. I was in a very good place…and then the virus hit.

It has taken an extra mental effort to get through the last few months, but I am well aware of the struggle. I feel like the social distancing and other precautions were already starting to take place in our lives last year when chemo began. With the virus it was all of a sudden not a choice of when we should distance ourselves, but rather a constant of just having to do it.

Tonight, I was talking to a friend from the past who has been struggling with her own personal hardships for about the same two years as me. Different situations for us, but ironically some of the same harsh effects. Hers was sudden, where my situation is ever evolving.

I realized many of us are going through a variety of troubled waters these days resulting from different situations, but we are suffering from the same emotional and mental difficulties.

We all feel helpless. We all struggle. We all are heartbroken. And, we all have to find the strength to keep moving forward.

In these times, we cannot allow ourselves to slip backwards, to fall, or allow ourselves to suffer mentally. We just cannot.

And, I won’t. I have the strength, and I have the Lord to help me. I know that.

Pray for each other. Build each other up. Show support. And, most of all take notice when you know something just doesn’t seem right with those around you. Don’t ignore what’s staring you in the face.

We all have the opportunity to help someone, each other. And, sometimes we may be helping someone without even realizing it.

Like I always say…if you can help someone, then help them. The reward is far better than paradise.

And remember, if we all pray for each other, someone will always be praying for us. xo

Posted in Devotional, Self Help

Keep Moving

It’s a beautiful day outside, but I’m not feeling like the weather. I guess I should have spent more time outdoors today instead of working inside.

Why is life such a rollercoaster right now?

Everytime I get on track to having good days, I stumble and regress. I’m tired of this mindset, but I know I am the only one who can fix it. I just feel like I’m running around in circles.

Today, I read it is possible this could last until August, with people staying home and businesses closed. My heart sank, the pit of my stomach ached and in all truthfulness I wanted to cry.

August?

Really?

That’s the whole summer. That would mean no graduation, no vacations, no beach days, no July 4th celebrations, no family visits, no chance at a rebounding economy and no relief in sight. I ALMOST want to say no hope, but I won’t.

I know that’s what the devil wants me to do, but I won’t. No matter how tired I get, I will never lose hope. I’m going to keep telling myself that because it’s all I’ve got.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.18  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassadorin chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”

Ephesians 6:10-20

Keep moving forward.

Someone I knew during my childhood actually died last week after contracting the virus. Look around, I know you all know or know of someone who has been affected. It’s a devastating realization, but it’s inevitable.

And, depressing. Sad. It steals our joy. We are the only ones who can hold onto it, but yet, it is a challenging task at hand.

How do we not lose our joy?

7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. 8 The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 138:7-8

Keep moving forward.

When we were at the Cancer Center last week the nurse told me perfectly healthy people are dying from this virus. She said for her that is the scariest thing about it. The fact that scares her, terrifies me.

We are living in some dark and uncertain times, and it just goes to show how vulnerable we really are. I know we are living under God’s plan, but I still can’t help but feel some sort of uneasiness.

I know there are more dark days ahead until we get through the peak of this. I know our lives are probably forever changed, but I pray the Lord will get us through and bring some light.

Keep moving forward.

I have been reminding myself all week that it’s Holy week. I have had some wonderful souls tell me to trust in God to get me through all this and that he will carry me. They have reminded me of what Jesus endured during this week and how I am stronger with the Lord by my side.

I know I am stronger, and I know we can get through this. Stay hopeful and keep moving forward. Today, I pray for strength for all of us and wish everyone a Happy Easter. xo