What do you have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving?
It has been a challenging year to say the least. One that has put us to many tests, questioned every ideology we believe in, and divided our society more than we care to discuss.
Yet, through this ever changing crisis in our world, I am fighting harder than ever to remain hopeful in every aspect of my life. To say it has been a difficult task is an understatement.
I am awake at 1:30 in the morning going through the thoughts weighing my mind down. It seems almost a bittersweet day, trying hard to focus on the good in order to battle the demons I wrestle with inside my head.
Twenty-four hours from now my heart will be brimming with love, my house will be full, and the four beds upstairs will be filled with my blessings. It is an instance I have been anticipating, and one that brings joy to my soul.
Everyone will be home from college, and the holidays will begin.
It is a time of year to reflect on all I have to be thankful for, all I’m blessed with, and how grateful I am for my family. This year has been filled with ups and downs, and it has produced a time like no other.
In spite of all the chaos, there are many reasons to feel blessed. And, my list is long.
On another note, there is also a sense of sadness, heartbreak and hurdles that have plagued me, one after another. It is hard not to recall those moments no matter how hard I push them back in my mind.
I have had an uneasiness in my heart. One I know is fueled by anticipation, waiting and what-ifs. At times it overwhelms me to the point where I feel like I am suffocating. The anxiousness takes over at those moments, and I remind myself to just breathe. There are moments I feel like I’m going to explode and the anxiety will consume every inch of me.
Distractions. They are my saviors for the moment.
I wrestle with what this week should look like and all it is. It bounces back and forth in my mind as I try to grasp hold of it to get it under control.
Peace. It is near. I feel it just out of my reach.
I simply must stop the noise I have let inside, take the leap and grasp it.
In the midst of all the storms in my life the only peace I can cling to is having hope, trusting the Lord will see me through and remembering there is much to be grateful for.
Other than being thankful for the obvious blessings in life, I am grateful for the hope I have found. The prayers, the Lord, and all the things not seen. They are there and the only sense of comfort that brings any peace in my life.
My children are my salvation. Without them I would not be able to weather the pain I feel in my heart. They give me strength to get up each day, knowing I have moments with them to look forward to, their hugs, their I love yous, their voice calling out to me. They fill my heart with a joy I have no where else in my life. They create the four corners of my world. They are my biggest blessing.
My family, my friends, the wonderful doctors, my parents, my aunt and uncle, my brother, the crazy dog who brings so much laughter to these rooms and all the others I fail to mention. The battles hubby fights so hard without complaints, providing for our family in spite of his illness, and all the times he has been the one comforting me.
All of you have been a solace in the storm. All I am blessed with. All the good in spite of the bad.
It is in the midst of turmoil that sometimes we find the many blessings bestowed upon us. Without the bad, how would we see the good?
Perhaps, we should remember we need to have the negative in order to see the positive. The bad in order to appreciate the good. And, the storms in order to enjoy the sunshine. No matter what we endure, the glass is always half full if that is how we choose to see it.
On this Thanksgiving open your heart to the joys in your life, the blessings, the gratefulness. Find hope in the uncertainty, seek grace from the favors of the Lord, and appreciate what you do have. We all have something to be thankful for.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.1 Chronicles 16:34