Posted in Journal


Is staying positive ALL the time even possible?

Today, is one of those days. I feel like I’ve been here before. Or maybe I never left.

Perhaps it’s just that I’ve been so concerned with everyone else in my life I haven’t had time to sit down and think about anything regarding myself. I’ve been trying so hard to take care of all the brokenness around me that I haven’t had time to think.

My daughter is struggling, so my other daughter is struggling because her sister is struggling. I’m concerned about that. Then, my son is struggling so his sister notices that, and I notice that.

I have some heartbreak in that conglomeration, along with some tears, some pain and even some anger. Maybe lots of anger.

I read an article today about being nice, not being a jerk. Not picking on people, not being insensitive or mean or harsh. And, I almost laughed through the pain I felt inside my heart because sometimes people are so oblivious to what’s going on around them.

If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned to be more aware of people around me. To be more empathetic, and definitely more aware of the fact that we are all dealing with some kind of calamity.

There are no words that can describle how hard my heart has been crying and screaming inside. And, for some of you who know anything at all about the situations, you dont know anything about that pain because it is simply on top of an already broken heart.

I look around, and I’m seeing a lot of jerks. And, I hope somehow they are ALL reading this.

The jerks who went on with life after they were clods to my daugther. The ones who left the debris of her brokenness on the ground…went on about their life not noticing she was in pain, hurt from the hell we are going through.

The one who broke my son, and didn’t even notice it happened. Ignored him, left no compassion or any care in the world, or considered that his life was already upside down.

I hope you all sleep well at night. I hope you all feel good about yourself.

I’m here to clean up the wreckage. And, we will be just fine.

I will pray for my children.

I will pray to God for forgiveness, for my anger, for my enmity.

And, I will pray for you.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Sometimes, even when you don’t want to…if you can help someone then help them.

Think about that!