Stressful days seem to be a dime a dozen these days, don’t they?
I slipped away from my family tonight to take a short walk, talk to my daughter on the phone, and hit reset in my mind. It’s just one of those days where life is hitting below the belt and weighing on my mind.
There’s nothing new, it’s just I need some idle time.
Some days I can’t explain why I’m feeling more anxious or overwhelmed or stressed. I just am not myself. There are moments I can’t remember what “my old self” is even like. I don’t think I can find my way back there, and if I did I think I wouldn’t be surprised to find the old me doesn’t exist.
There are times I feel like my mind is in a traffic jam, horns and noise all around me, and I cannot figure out where to go. I’m not lost, I just don’t know where I am. And, I’m struggling to find my course.
Maybe it’s the lack of sleep I’ve been getting. The traveling. Maybe it’s the sleepless nights that plagued me over the last few weeks. Maybe it’s just the pandemonium among us.
It’s possibly the thought in the back of my mind that I know of three people who have died in the last six weeks of cancer. That alone is hitting close to home, and it’s hitting me hard.
Perhaps it’s hearing everyone talk about their future plans, and me pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind.
Last night, I read something that really got my mind reeling. Something that has been on my subconscious, but didn’t really settle in until I saw it written out.
I immediately had a response regarding the commotion that surrounds me.
I’m tired of all the noise.
I’m tired of hearing all the static. All the whining. All the self pity. All the dead end debates.
I’m tired of it.
Tired of all the racket.
Tired of the negativity. Tired of the complaining.
I’m tired. Tired of it all.
Tired of social media. Tired of people. Tired of opinions. Tired of quarantine debates.
Tired of it all.
Actually, I’m sick of it.
Sick of people. Sick of opinions of what I should and should not do. Sick of the school debate. Sick of hearing about unjust.
I’m tired of online or in person. I’m tired of mask or no mask.
I’m tired of the debates. The this vs. that.
I’m tired people.
I’m sick and tired!
I don’t mean to offend anyone. I don’t mean to hurt feelings. Really, I don’t.
I just cannot take one more minute of it.
We are all struggling to some degree.
And, I don’t want to hear the noise. I don’t want to listen to it.
I imagine no one else does either.
So, if you’re causing any noise?
STOP! Please, just stop.
Stop the noise.