Author: gracelovebiscuits

Posted in Self Help

Thunderstorms

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Isn’t it strange how sometimes you look back on situations and realize why something happened the way it did?

I went through a storm last week, literally, and thought really, on top of everything else?Then I read something that made me think about it, so I’ll share my viewpoint.

We look for thunderstorms and these obvious shows from God, but He is always there in the simplest places. I think many times we go through storms and question where God is, but if we want Him to intervene we have to pray to Him and ask Him for help.

Many times people question why God lets something happen or why He allows bad things to happen. Maybe God doesn’t let bad things happen, maybe sometimes He just doesn’t stop them. After all, God made the world good. 

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

Genesis 1:31

He is readily there for us, if we just ask Him to be in our lives. I believe many times I have failed to ask God for help, but I am working to rectify that. Some days it’s easier than others.

Sometimes I have let my anger get in the way. Instead of being mad at God, which I have been many times in the last few years, I should be constantly praying and asking Him for help. God wants our constant attention, not just when something bad happens or we are in a crisis. We need to praise Him in good and bad times. He needs to be a constant in our lives.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 3:23

Many people I know are going through storms right now. Fighting cancer, health battles, marriage struggles, addictions, issues with their children. Life is never easy, and actually life is very difficult.

I met a lady at the cancer center last week, while alone in the waiting room. She was seated across from me, and the nurse came out to speak with her. Near the end of their chat the lady got upset. The nurse asked her if she was going to be OK, and I offered to sit with her. I wasn’t eavesdropping on their conversation, but I could easily hear what was going on. I knew her husband had cancer and was going through treatment and other health battles. And, I knew she was overwhelmed.

It’s easy to recognize your own struggles in someone else if you simply open your eyes.

I told the nurse I would sit with her, and she looked at the lady and asked if she knew me. I told her no, but I think we are going through some of the same things.

I sat with the lady and talked about my husband and she talked about hers. We shared our stories of what we are each going through. Even though her husband is older than mine and probably not as healthy, she realized my husband has encountered many added health battles because of his disease, where as hers has not.  I sat with her until the nurse came back to get her, and she hugged me tight when she got up to leave. Even though I sat there alone again in my own struggles, I felt good I had helped someone else feel better by simply opening my eyes and my heart.

We are all fighting our own battles, and sometimes we are taken down a road that seems impassable. However, we need to remember there is always someone else who is fighting along side of us and sometimes fighting harder. Maybe their fight isn’t the same as ours, maybe it’s worse, or maybe it’s just more difficult for them to deal with.

It’s easy to get depressed, think you’re alone in your attack and feel beaten, but if we thank God for our struggles we can become better and stronger. Sometimes we just need to step back, take at look at the situation and put it all into perspective. 

Rejoice always,  pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; 
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

After all, if a stranger can make a sacrifice for us, don’t you think it’s appropriate to pass it on? Good deeds come back two fold, and as always…if you can help someone, then help them.

Posted in Self Help

The Struggle

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

The struggle is an endless battle.

A constant ongoing clash in my mind of worry and pain and stress. Some days I feel like it just consumes me and I can’t sleep, I can’t think and I can’t stop the anxiety it creates.

With everything going on with everyone in my world, life is just overwhelming at times, and I feel defeated. It makes no sense to say I can’t even pray for it to stop, but I get so disoriented, my thoughts are so unorganized and the anxiety just engulfs me. I can’t muster up the words for help. And, mentally I am exhausted.

I can’t find my bearings. It is the worst sensation I cannot rid myself of no matter what I do. I can’t focus on anything else. My mind is racing, I feel defenseless and want out of my own skin. It is an unimaginable feeling unless you have experienced it.

It can be a struggle on any given day, but put that day in my life right now and it is just about insufferable.

I feel powerless, because I am. Powerless in many of the situations because I can’t control them, can’t change them. Even though I am not meant to, I still, regardless of my efforts to put it all in God’s trusting hands, falter.

Yesterday, no matter what I did life kept coming at me for more. The weather alone, the drive to the Cancer Center, the drive back, dealing with issues with my children, the worry, the stress of the next few weeks…it was just all too much.

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t settle myself down. And today, I feel overthrown.

I’m just so drained, so tired, so emotionally empty. This morning I prayed for my children, I prayed for my husband and I just prayed for God to give me strength.

My struggles have been very real this week. I sought help from friends and the Lord, although I’ve been fumbling with my prayers. The time was overdue. I was in real need of a serious talk with God, so I had one.

Afterwards, I realized everything I already know, but just needed reminding of today. This isn’t the first day like this I’ve had and it won’t be the last. It isn’t the first time I scarambled around looking for the unfaltering help that is readily there for me if I just ask and it probably won’t be the last.

Setbacks make us stronger, whether we realize it or not. We just have to learn from them…take it one bite at a time, adjust our crown, trust in God and keep going.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” 

Psalm 23:4

A few things to remember…

Rest–I believe in order for us to deal with difficult situations going on in our lives we have to be at our best. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep and the sleep I did get was laced with bad dreams and a stormy mind. Sleep restores our mind and body. Rest=Peace, remember that.

Pray–It’s easy to get wrapped up in a racing mind, but it shouldn’t deter us away from God. That’s the devil working. He wants us to have doubt and make us so busy and confused that we lose sight of God and his word. Pray All The Time. And, if you are struggling ask Him for help.

Hope–Don’t lose hope. Be positive and trust that something good is going to happen. Even in hard times we have to have hope in order to get through whatever storm we are enduring. Thinking you can is half the battle.

Faith–Keep the faith. If we have a complete trust and belief in God, He can help take away our worry and pain. Without spiritual understanding and faith worry can consume us. Give it to God and rest easy.

Help Others–For me helping others always makes me feel good when I’m feeling down. It gives me purpose and a sense of worthiness to help others even though I’m feeling like I can’t help myself.

After all if you can help someone, then help them. Many times it is ourselves we end up saving.

Posted in Journal, Self Help

One Bite at a Time

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Day 443

We got through the first of another round of treatments this past September and ended up in the hospital a week later. Every step of the way it seems we encounter another unexpected hurdle.

A year prior to that we were just starting on this path with treatment, surgery, infections and a multitude of complications.

All those emotions and feelings are much the same today, but somehow I’ve become smarter, stronger and found more faith in God, trusting I will get through this. It won’t be easy, and I don’t look forward to this journey in many ways, but I know God has put me here for a reason.

I must be strong for my children. I have to be. There’s no choice in this.

I can cry, and break down and scream and say this isn’t fair as many times as I want, BUT I have to be there for my children. I must!! It is my place in this life to be their protector, to be their advocate, to be their strength. I can do it, and God will be there to see me through it. 

I will tighten my circle, straighten my crown and 
take each day as it comes. 
My Blessings come in all sorts of disguises.

October 2019

I have read this journal post over and over and over the last few weeks to remind myself of how far I have come. It has been a very distressing road, and recently I haven’t felt so strong. Some days I feel myself slipping back into that nightmarish hole I used to live in. There in the dark, I was partnered with loneliness and defeat, struggling to find the positivity in my life, while wrestling with every negative notion.

My children are my motive, along with trusting in God to give me strength and show me the light, enabling me to find the good. Some days I forget my mission is to help others find inner peace, while helping myself.

Other days remind me my children and I have weaknesses, and I realize how vulnerable they make us. Invasions through those cracks cripple us if we allow them in, but we have the power within us if we simply have faith.

However, finding inner peace is an easier task than retaining it. A constant struggle inside your mind, it takes patience and trust and understanding at all times. Negative forces are persistently challenging your thoughts, your confidence, your beliefs and your trust.

Don’t let them win!

Be aware of the flaws and use your armor and your mind to overpower the enemy. Sometimes we ourselves are our worst adversary, and in other circumstances we are warding off Satan. Or perhaps, he plays a role in both scenarios. Deter him with prayer and God’s word.

When I settle down and calm my mind I know where to find my source for inner strength. An anxious mind cannot focus on peacefulness, just as a restless heart cannot find trust. Close your eyes, relax, breathe and go to a happy place. Preoccupy your mind with a simple task. Do something you love.

A simple moment of shifting your mind, finding some sort of calm, distracting your thoughts can create an inner peace thought to be out of reach. Practice daily.

I beleive we all have a hidden fortitude within us. Use it in your favor. One day at a time.

As some wise soul once said, picture a huge elephant in front of you, draw a picture of it and write…One bite at a time.

We’ve got this!

Posted in Self Help

Sadness

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Does sadness need a motive?

I’ve felt kind of sad all day today thinking about everything going on in my life. 

I watched the live feed from the church my daughter attends at college this morning with the boys, hoping that being close to God would make me feel less gloom. 

I’m not sure why I’m in this state of melancholy. My blog post last night was something I just needed to get out, something that was building up inside me and just needed releasing. 

I took a step forward, trying not to overthink everything going on with my kids, and I still have this sense of sorrow and aching in my heart. 

It has just become a process, a cycle and now I’m on the downswing. I’ve realized after so long it’s just unavoidable. 

I know all my friends will call or text tomorrow with their concern, but I’m letting you all know it’s just a rotation that I’m in, and this is a somber moment for me. Sadly, one of many, despite my positive attitude, my prayers, and my relentless effort to smile and stay upbeat.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds“

Psalm 147:3

Today, it’s just a mood, just a mode, just a day I need to cry and let it out. A friend told me crying is good, it’s okay to cry sometimes. And, it’s true. It’s a sort of cleansing of everything you’ve kept inside in order to remain strong.

As much as I try to ignore the uneasiness I feel, I know it’s just getting to me. The mounding incidents, setbacks, barriers start to pile up, and suddenly they crash down knocking the breath out of me, suffocating me.

My husband says I shouldn’t read the sarcoma pages I follow. He says I should stop, but I can’t. 

Reading those pages, understanding how others are fighting, and offering words of hope and encouragement to them is a sort of therapy for me. 

I know he doesn’t understand. He thinks it makes me sad and upset, and if I’m being honest he’s right. 

What he doesn’t recognize is I need to know. I need to feel that, to understand, and to offer anything I possibly can to help others. It is part of my own treatment, helping others feel like they are not alone in their own suffering. It’s comforting to me knowing I am not isolated in my life. 

It is the reason I started this blog…to help myself and to help someone else.

He and others do not comprehend this is a solo journey for me. No, not in a physical sense, but very much in a mental way. I am on a voyage that is unfamiliar. I am navigating and trying to watch over my children at the same time.

And, in all truthfulness there is no one there to guide me other than God. I know in my heart that is enough, but my mind makes me second guess myself. I will get back on track tomorrow.

But, the battle goes on inside my head.

Posted in Journal

Broken

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Is staying positive ALL the time even possible?

Today, is one of those days. I feel like I’ve been here before. Or maybe I never left.

Perhaps it’s just that I’ve been so concerned with everyone else in my life I haven’t had time to sit down and think about anything regarding myself. I’ve been trying so hard to take care of all the brokenness around me that I haven’t had time to think.

My daughter is struggling, so my other daughter is struggling because her sister is struggling. I’m concerned about that. Then, my son is struggling so his sister notices that, and I notice that.

I have some heartbreak in that conglomeration, along with some tears, some pain and even some anger. Maybe lots of anger.

I read an article today about being nice, not being a jerk. Not picking on people, not being insensitive or mean or harsh. And, I almost laughed through the pain I felt inside my heart because sometimes people are so oblivious to what’s going on around them.

If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned to be more aware of people around me. To be more empathetic, and definitely more aware of the fact that we are all dealing with some kind of calamity.

There are no words that can describle how hard my heart has been crying and screaming inside. And, for some of you who know anything at all about the situations, you dont know anything about that pain because it is simply on top of an already broken heart.

I look around, and I’m seeing a lot of jerks. And, I hope somehow they are ALL reading this.

The jerks who went on with life after they were clods to my daugther. The ones who left the debris of her brokenness on the ground…went on about their life not noticing she was in pain, hurt from the hell we are going through.

The one who broke my son, and didn’t even notice it happened. Ignored him, left no compassion or any care in the world, or considered that his life was already upside down.

I hope you all sleep well at night. I hope you all feel good about yourself.

I’m here to clean up the wreckage. And, we will be just fine.

I will pray for my children.

I will pray to God for forgiveness, for my anger, for my enmity.

And, I will pray for you.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Sometimes, even when you don’t want to…if you can help someone then help them.

Think about that!

Posted in Journal, Self Help

Hope

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever wonder why some days are just easier than others? Maybe it’s how we start our day or maybe it’s our prayers.

I was skimming my journal today and thought how my life goes through the same cycle over and over. We get a diagnosis or test results, then there’s an acceptance period, then there’s a plan of attack or treatment, scans, results, and then we start again. The cycle repeats itself over and over

October 3, 2019

Some days I feel as if I’m suffocating, and I can’t get air. Anxiety sets in, and I am swept away in my fears. It’s the worst feeling in the world, and all I can do is cry.

This morning I prayed to God for strength and healing and to forgive me for my sins and selfishness. Some days I just want it to stop. Some days I don’t want to be here, to do this. Some days I don’t want to get off the couch.

I know I should give my worry and pain to God and trust him, but that alone is another battle I fight. It’s all so overwhelming, and sometimes I just want it to go away…to wake up from this bad dream.

Does my husband really have cancer?

Is my children’s father really going to die?

I look at those test results and try to comprehend all those medical terms and digest what’s in front of me. I know he’s not the only patient in the world, but he’s my patient, and I want to know what’s looking us in the face. I need answers, I need assurance, I need something so just tell me what it is and forget the sugar coating.

Worry is something so hard to give up, yet it steals so much from you. It takes away from your peace, it eats at your brain and soul and it makes you go places in your mind you never want to be.

Yet, it’s like a drug, and you just can’t give it up some days.

Pray for strength, pray for peace…then put one foot in front of the other and keep looking ahead. I know God will protect me, my children…it’s all the hope I have.

And, what do we have if we don’t have hope?

It’s hard to believe that was only four months ago. I think back and can hardly remember the day. It was one of many of the same…like my life was on repeat.

I started this blog for myself and for others. I went outside my comfort zone and did it in hopes of helping other people who are struggling. It was something I felt I was chosen to do, a calling of a sort, to take something bad and do good with it.

At lunch today, my friend said she sees a change in me since starting the blog. I told her I feel better when I write. She pointed out how I sometimes conceal my feelings and keep them inside, and she believes my blog is a way for me to express them, let them out.

I agree with her.

And, she has been a steadfast supportive friend to me since I have known her.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4 (ESV)

So often we hide behind a mask of social media in a make believe world. Everyone is happy on Facebook. Right?

People show off the perfect happy façade of their life, and somewhere behind that smile are tears and heartbreak, or pain and suffering, or loneliness and depression.

I feel like I could easily be putting myself in a vulnerable situation, but this is my story, my thoughts, my therapy. This is about helping myself and helping others. And in the end, the truth will set us free…


Posted in Self Help

Acceptance

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

I have felt numb most of the weekend. Lost in my own thoughts. Why does God think I can handle so much at one time?

It’s one in the morning, and another late night. Circumstances are weighing on my mind as I go over and over in my head the events over the last few weeks. This month has gone on and on like a bad dream. I rush time along in my head one minute, while begging it to stop the next. 

Life always seems to be a Catch 22.

ALWAYS!

Holding my shoulders, tensed up in pain, I am unable to relax and find sleep. So many emotions going through my mind tonight. So much empathy for all my children, who are hurting and in pain over the events that have unfolded lately. 

There’s nothing I can do to ease the suffering. My mind surveys the situation and wonders how I could have prevented incidents leading up to this moment. I am lost and out of answers. 

Too tired to think. 

More often than not I have been holding back tears wondering why life has to be so cruel. Why do my children deserve so much misfortune when they have just been trying to cope?

Sadly enough, life isn’t fair. I would say life is more unfair than not. But, before I try to digest those thoughts I know the point is mute. 

Life isn’t fair!!

How many times do I have to have this realization. Life will NEVER be fair. Accept that and save yourself the disappointment down the road.

This pity party tonight is getting old. Mental note to self:  Make this the last pity party.

 Seriously, where does it get me? Over and over in my head I can sink myself to an all time low, and all I’m doing is making myself pathetic and miserable. 

And, for what reason?

I fell asleep after 2:30 this morning with my computer on my lap, my blog post unfinished. I was a little upset I had fell asleep before recording all my thoughts, but then realized some things happen for a reason.

I reminded myself of the words of Priscilla Shirer. So, for all my Bible study sisters….I’m putting on my armor and praying about it. I didn’t finish this post last night because it wasn’t the right time. 

God hadn’t spoken to me about the situation. Or, maybe I just hadn’t listened.

I had nothing positive to say. And, I hadn’t come to terms with any of it or found a resolution. 

What kind of inspiration would I be for all of you? A pathetic one for sure, or just not a inspiration at all?

Perseverance is one thing I have. My friend said so, and she is right.

I AM strong! So strong…mental note that!

Today, I had a conversation with my husband. He was upset about a situation that occurred last week, and for once, I wasn’t the one in tears. I was the sensible voice of reasoning. I really shocked myself. 

But, this morning I woke up with a sense of peace, a calmness, a feeling of vindication.

Sometimes we have to realize things happen in our life for a reason. A lesson? A blessing? Yes, it’s one of those explanations, or maybe all of them. Sometimes bad has to happen for there to be good. Sometimes people have to fall in order to get up. And, sometimes sacrifices have to be made, or there has to be a tradeoff.

Think about that in a spiritual sense. Sometimes we just have to trust in the Lord that everything is going to turn out for the best. 

Worrying, stressing, losing sleep is a waste of time. Not to say I’m going to always remember that statement, but it is the truth. We just sometimes forget that.

What is done is done so move forward, and don’t allow history to repeat itself. 

I feel like sometimes people have to get sick, sometimes people have to fail, and sometimes people even have to die. Sometimes extreme measures have to happen in order for the stars to align, to save someone, for the good or the silver lining to reveal itself. 

I know this is a deep topic, but somehow today I found some peace. I’m not necessarily happy with all my realizations, but I have found a sense of peacefulness and acceptance in what is happening.

Maybe it’s short lived, maybe tomorrow I’ll have a setback. I’m sure there’s more bad days ahead, but the alternative could be worse. 

What if there wasn’t another day at all?

There are events and situations in my life I can’t do anything about. And, there are some I can. 

When my children falter, when they fall, they will be looking to me for guidance. If I can’t support myself, how in the world can I support them?

Like I told my daughter today…I am strong. Stronger than you think. I will pray for you and hold you up when you can’t do it yourself. That’s what moms do.

So, as I always say…if you can help someone, then help them.

Posted in Self Help

555 Days

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Something like 555 days.

You would think if you had lived in the midst of heartbreak for that long you could catch a break. What’s the saying? When it rains it pours.

As my daughter pointed out tonight, things really do happen all at once. Yes, they do Shuggy! Yes, they do.

It’s 1:35 am this morning; I have to be on the road before 7:30 am, and I’m lying in bed wide awake.

Thinking.

Worrying.

And honestly, I’ve been fighting off the devil.

At Bible study two weeks ago someone said the Devil is going to be coming at you hard after tonight, coming after your family. She wasn’t lying.

I need enough of God’s armor belonging to an army for this battle. I prayed tonight so hard and when I closed my eyes I believe I saw the demons circling in the darkness.

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV

I’ve cried plenty over the last few days. For my husband, and even more so for my children. It has been a rough week for them. Rougher than anyone can imagine. Don’t ever underestimate the powers around us. When you turn your back and take a breath is the exact time someone or something is going to hit you hard from behind. Don’t let your guard down.

Today, I needed to get it out. Then, I just stopped. Suddenly, I felt as if I had been slapped in the face, taking my breath away. It hit me like what I imagine it would be like if God had just smacked me. And, maybe He did.

I was angry. I was mad. And I thought I’m under attack.

I closed my eyes to pray again. It was the most bizarre thing, but I couldn’t remember any scripture. I fumbled and squirmed, my mind was confused and struggling for what I was trying to remember. So, I just prayed for God to come to me, to help me.

We struggle. Our children struggle. Don’t let yourself be overtaken by it.

Fight!

You may feel at rock bottom, but ask God for strength. Ask, and He will listen.

My children are hurting right now. I will not give up, and I will pray for God to watch over them when they are not able to do it for themselves.

It’s what momma bears do.

If you can help someone, help them. And, you better believe my children are at the top of my list.

(Sic ’em!)

Posted in Journal, Self Help

Tired

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

It’s 4 am above the city, nine floors high in this tiny room, with only the tick tock from the clock on the wall, and I wait. I reference the sound to that of a time bomb, but is it merely time ticking away?

For me, maybe one in the same.

I can’t explain how I feel tonight, but I do feel time slipping away. Why does time always keep coming at me?

Time.

Is it even real?

There are always excuses for not enough time, out of time, or never having enough time. Seriously, no one has enough time because time flies.

Take the time!

I can’t say it enough

Take the time, because we can never stop it.

I have fought back tears much of the night, pushed back fears, and stopped my mind from going into dark places.

Now, there’s just an ache in the pit of my stomach. Today, unknowingly, I got on a new roller coaster, and it doesn’t stop. I’ll adjust…it’ll just take some time.

That was only two nights ago, but I’m so drained and exhausted it seems like it has to be 48 days rather than 48 hours. There are moments I feel as if I’m getting a glimpse of the road ahead. Is this God preparing me for what’s to come?

Tonight, I told my daughter in these troubled times to take care of herself. Do what makes her happy. Live a life that is comforting to her. Not to others. People don’t have a right to judge, or comment, or even have a voiced opinion. Not in this. They just don’t.

Maybe that seems selfish to some, but at the moment we are really the only ones who understand each other. It’s just the way it is.

Seeing and waiting is a hard, hard task. And, we are tired, mentally and physically.

We have some fabulous friends, some wonderful family. We love you all. Appreciate you dearly. Pray for us, that’s what you can do.

Posted in Journal, Self Help

Strength

Posted on by gracelovebiscuits

Ever felt helpless to the point you almost lose hope?

Today, I actually almost feel that way. But, not in the way you’re probably thinking.

Have you ever felt so helpless when it comes to your children that you’re crying inside? Yep, me too. It’s a common trait for a mother, right?

The worst feeling in the world for a mother is hoping so desperately you’re able to fix something, and at the same time knowing you can’t.

Someone once told me you can’t lose hope because if you don’t have hope you don’t have anything. I look back to that particular time and almost make myself laugh because hard times and struggles from the past are nothing compared to what I’m going through now. And, I thought that was rock bottom?

I don’t know if I should drop to my knees and laugh or cry. Honestly, someone else always has it harder. Life isn’t fair, and I’m pretty sure no one ever told us it would be. If they did, they lied. 

Last week during Bible study everyone asked about my blog so I was explaining what it’s about and why I’m doing it. A few signs and a serious discernment is all it took for me to push forward.

I went through a period of being mad at God for so many things. I prayed, I read devotions, and I asked for strength daily. I also cried a lot and asked, Why? I was trying so hard to understand why I was being punished, why my children were suffering, and why all this is happening. 

29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

It is hard to stand in the middle of tragedy and heartbreak and admit that bad things have to happen. Ironically, I do believe sometimes they have to happen in order for there to be good in our lives. It doesn’t always make sense, but for me I just had this realization one day that this is all happening for a reason. I am suppose to take it and do good with it.

Often, I have to stop and remind myself life is not always wonderful, and we were never promised it would be. We were never promised exceptional people wouldn’t suffer.

Stop thinking life always owes us happiness. Stop thinking we deserve anything more than what we get.

When we look at it from the Lord’s perspective we slowly see that we don’t have a right to be mad about anything that’s taken away from us. Some have given up and sacrificed way more than we can imagine. What makes us feel we have a right to be angry?

At some point maybe we all have to make our own sacrifices even if they are not our choosing. We were never promised eternal life on Earth. The best we can do is have hope and accept the fate we have been dealt.

We can pray for mercy, pray for healing, pray for miracles, but ultimately we should pray for peace. As adults it is sometimes hard for us to accept, and essentially even harder for our children. It is human instinct for us to want to protect them, but better yet we need to help them understand what we know in our hearts.

Finding peace will not make us forget the pain, or even suffer less, but it can help us heal and accept God’s will. With our children we can’t give up on hope, and at times we have to carry them even when they don’t ask us.

As a mother I have more strength than my children will ever realize, times four. They have seen me in my weak moments, but they are yet to see me in my strongest.

God gives me strength every day because I ask him for it, and if they are too weak I will ask him for strength for them, too.

And, we all know…if you can help someone, then help them. xo