The struggle is an endless battle.
A constant ongoing clash in my mind of worry and pain and stress. Some days I feel like it just consumes me and I can’t sleep, I can’t think and I can’t stop the anxiety it creates.
With everything going on with everyone in my world, life is just overwhelming at times, and I feel defeated. It makes no sense to say I can’t even pray for it to stop, but I get so disoriented, my thoughts are so unorganized and the anxiety just engulfs me. I can’t muster up the words for help. And, mentally I am exhausted.
I can’t find my bearings. It is the worst sensation I cannot rid myself of no matter what I do. I can’t focus on anything else. My mind is racing, I feel defenseless and want out of my own skin. It is an unimaginable feeling unless you have experienced it.
It can be a struggle on any given day, but put that day in my life right now and it is just about insufferable.
I feel powerless, because I am. Powerless in many of the situations because I can’t control them, can’t change them. Even though I am not meant to, I still, regardless of my efforts to put it all in God’s trusting hands, falter.
Yesterday, no matter what I did life kept coming at me for more. The weather alone, the drive to the Cancer Center, the drive back, dealing with issues with my children, the worry, the stress of the next few weeks…it was just all too much.
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t settle myself down. And today, I feel overthrown.
I’m just so drained, so tired, so emotionally empty. This morning I prayed for my children, I prayed for my husband and I just prayed for God to give me strength.
My struggles have been very real this week. I sought help from friends and the Lord, although I’ve been fumbling with my prayers. The time was overdue. I was in real need of a serious talk with God, so I had one.
Afterwards, I realized everything I already know, but just needed reminding of today. This isn’t the first day like this I’ve had and it won’t be the last. It isn’t the first time I scarambled around looking for the unfaltering help that is readily there for me if I just ask and it probably won’t be the last.
Setbacks make us stronger, whether we realize it or not. We just have to learn from them…take it one bite at a time, adjust our crown, trust in God and keep going.
A few things to remember…
Rest–I believe in order for us to deal with difficult situations going on in our lives we have to be at our best. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep and the sleep I did get was laced with bad dreams and a stormy mind. Sleep restores our mind and body. Rest=Peace, remember that.
Pray–It’s easy to get wrapped up in a racing mind, but it shouldn’t deter us away from God. That’s the devil working. He wants us to have doubt and make us so busy and confused that we lose sight of God and his word. Pray All The Time. And, if you are struggling ask Him for help.
Hope–Don’t lose hope. Be positive and trust that something good is going to happen. Even in hard times we have to have hope in order to get through whatever storm we are enduring. Thinking you can is half the battle.
Faith–Keep the faith. If we have a complete trust and belief in God, He can help take away our worry and pain. Without spiritual understanding and faith worry can consume us. Give it to God and rest easy.
Help Others–For me helping others always makes me feel good when I’m feeling down. It gives me purpose and a sense of worthiness to help others even though I’m feeling like I can’t help myself.
After all if you can help someone, then help them. Many times it is ourselves we end up saving.