Strength

Ever felt helpless to the point you almost lose hope?

Today, I actually almost feel that way. But, not in the way you’re probably thinking.

Have you ever felt so helpless when it comes to your children that you’re crying inside? Yep, me too. It’s a common trait for a mother, right?

The worst feeling in the world for a mother is hoping so desperately you’re able to fix something, and at the same time knowing you can’t.

Someone once told me you can’t lose hope because if you don’t have hope you don’t have anything. I look back to that particular time and almost make myself laugh because hard times and struggles from the past are nothing compared to what I’m going through now. And, I thought that was rock bottom?

I don’t know if I should drop to my knees and laugh or cry. Honestly, someone else always has it harder. Life isn’t fair, and I’m pretty sure no one ever told us it would be. If they did, they lied. 

Last week during Bible study everyone asked about my blog so I was explaining what it’s about and why I’m doing it. A few signs and a serious discernment is all it took for me to push forward.

I went through a period of being mad at God for so many things. I prayed, I read devotions, and I asked for strength daily. I also cried a lot and asked, Why? I was trying so hard to understand why I was being punished, why my children were suffering, and why all this is happening.

29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

It is hard to stand in the middle of tragedy and heartbreak and admit that bad things have to happen. Ironically, I do believe sometimes they have to happen in order for there to be good in our lives. It doesn’t always make sense, but for me I just had this realization one day that this is all happening for a reason. I am suppose to take it and do good with it.

Often, I have to stop and remind myself life is not always wonderful, and we were never promised it would be. We were never promised exceptional people wouldn’t suffer.

Stop thinking life always owes us happiness. Stop thinking we deserve anything more than what we get.

When we look at it from the Lord’s perspective we slowly see that we don’t have a right to be mad about anything that’s taken away from us. Some have given up and sacrificed way more than we can imagine. What makes us feel we have a right to be angry?

At some point maybe we all have to make our own sacrifices even if they are not our choosing. We were never promised eternal life on Earth. The best we can do is have hope and accept the fate we have been dealt.

We can pray for mercy, pray for healing, pray for miracles, but ultimately we should pray for peace. As adults it is sometimes hard for us to accept, and essentially even harder for our children. It is human instinct for us to want to protect them, but better yet we need to help them understand what we know in our hearts.

Finding peace will not make us forget the pain, or even suffer less, but it can help us heal and accept God’s will. With our children we can’t give up on hope, and at times we have to carry them even when they don’t ask us.

As a mother I have more strength than my children will ever realize, times four. They have seen me in my weak moments, but they are yet to see me in my strongest.

God gives me strength every day because I ask him for it, and if they are too weak I will ask him for strength for them, too.

And, we all know…if you can help someone, then help them. xo